Ah, being smart is such a burden sometimes. You think of the strangest things! Like didn’t Softie say people ate immortal rice to avoid impurities, especially cultivators? Then why are there restaurants filled with such good food at such expensive prices? Three hundred spirit stones per dish! How is a regular non-cultivator family supposed to afford that? Back home, a single spirit stone was worth tens of gold, and a family could live off of a single gold for a long time! Three hundred spirit stones? That’s thirty sets of used underwear! …Huh. Actually, it’d be pretty easy for a family to afford a dish…. If that something succubus sect existed back home, then I wouldn’t have had to work a single day in my life. I could’ve bought my freedom by selling my underwear!
Hmm? Who’s tugging on my sleeve? Oh, it’s Softie. “Lucia, you, um, threw the prince out the window. I think that’s an even worse crime than flying….”
“Prince? What prince?” I tossed someone out the window? Why don’t I remember this? Hmm. I was waiting for my food, then there was some shouting and I cleared up a misunderstanding about my identity, then something got in the way of my food getting to me so I removed the obstacle. Was that a person? Nah, it was a bit too tall to be a person.
Softie pointed at the window. It was shattered and had a hole that was in a perfect outline of a person. Huh…. “Did I really throw a prince out a window?” I looked around the room, and everyone nodded at me. Well, in that case…. “What are you all waiting for? Switch back into the Bloody Bull Sect’s robes! And you! Witnesses! Swear an oath to the heavens that you won’t say anything about our existence!”
As the last disciple finished changing his robes, the door to our room burst open. A fellow with a torn cloak and scrapes on his skin pointed at me. How rude. “Elder Brother! She’s the one who threw me out the window!” Another person appeared behind him, wearing the same kind of cloak with the same kind of golden clasp. He was a bit bigger, and there was a nice-looking sword on his waist. Was that a sky-realm-ranked sword?
“Is this true?” the person with the maybe-sky-realm-ranked sword asked. Without warning, he raised his hand and slapped the back of the torn-cloaked person’s head. “You idiot! You lost to a woman and came running to me?”
“E-Elder Brother,” the torn-cloaked person said with a familiar expression. That’s the same kind of expression Ilya gives me when I keep something that she wants away from her! I think I can get along pretty well with this older brother person. Except he’s a bit arrogant. What does he mean lost to a woman? It’s perfectly natural for me to win any fight I get into! That’s just how life works. “She also incapacitated Guard Captain Fire! You can’t blame me for losing!”
The older brother person slapped the torn-cloaked person’s head even harder. “How dumb are you!? She defeated a sky-realm expert and you want me to fight her!?” The older brother snorted before smiling at me. “Greetings, great expert. I am Second Prince Heavy Sky. I apologize if my younger brother offended you. His eyes are worthless just like the rest of him.”
Wow. That’s pretty harsh.
“But Elder Brother! You’re a sky-realm expert too! You can’t lose to her!”
“Moron! You want two sky-realm experts to fight in the capital? Your brain has completely rotted from chasing women all day! Go back to the palace and await your punishment when Father finds out about this.” The older brother grabbed the person with the torn cloak by the back of his neck and tossed him out the window. Amazingly, the screaming person passed straight through without breaking anymore glass, fitting perfectly into the hole that was already there. Well, that confirms it. A person, who had the same exact shape as that person, was thrown out the window by someone in this room before. I’m not saying it was me; I’m just saying it happened. Mhm.
The older brother nodded at me. Then he looked at Softie and raised an eyebrow. He grunted. “I roughly understand everything that happened now. Enjoy your meal.”
“Wait!” You can’t leave yet!
“Was there something else?”
“Is that a sky-realm-ranked sword?” I pointed at the fancy sword hanging from his waist.
“This?” The older brother touched his sword and shook his head. “No, it’s a single step below. Of the princes, only my older brother, the crown prince, has a sky-realm-ranked sword.”
“Oh. This crown prince person. Where’s he at?” I found a lead! Just you wait, Durandal. Don’t think I’ll let you off easy for lying to me about not being sterile! Thankfully, Ilya said she can create some things to make him virile, but she’d have to do a lot of experimenting since she wasn’t sure if it’d work on a weapon spirit.
The older brother, no, younger brother? Hmm. What was his name? Fat Sky? Right. Fat Sky’s expression darkened. “He’s positioned at the Gates of Hell.”
What. “…He’s dead?” Then this’ll be a piece of cake! Robbing someone’s grave is a whole lot easier than robbing someone who’s still alive.
“The Gates of Hell is the battlefield I was telling you about,” Softie whispered to me. “The continuous one between the two countries, remember?”
Oh, right. That. Hah. I guess the world doesn’t want me to have it easy, huh? Why couldn’t it just let me rob a grave for a sword?
Fat Sky coughed. “Were you hoping to join his faction?”
“Faction? I just want to steal his sword!” …Did I say that out loud?
“You said that out loud,” Ilya said.
Thanks, mind reader. “Ah-ha-ha, I mean, inspect! I just want to inspect his sword!”
Fat Sky’s expression lightened as he smiled. “If all you want to do is inspect his sword, I can give you a recommendation to join the army under his command. You’ve defeated Guard Captain Fire; no one will question your qualifications.”
“Really? You’ll do that?” I guess the world does want to help me after all. Sky-realm-ranked sword, here I come!