Chapter 19: Pill-Crazy
Drunken Dream was the name for a top-tier wine.
Drunken Dream of Lovemaking was another name for a certain top-tier good…
There was no way I’d mix these two up.
They said this particular poison had no antidote. You could only use this and that to cure it. As to what “this” and “that” were, I was very curious to know, but Han Zichuan embarrassedly sealed his lips on the topic. I asked Fang Hua, but he didn’t understand it either, only took me to the study to research it myself. Thus I once spent half a morning digging through various pill formulas for answers.
Truthfully speaking, though our house was missing many things, it was never short on medicinal plants so I decided to make a version myself. Originally, I wanted a chance to test the drug on Han Zichuan…but I never expected that I’d use it today instead.
What a slipup…
I looked around at the seven or eight people sprawled on the ground, then squatted on the ground, eyes blinking. My face was red as I tried to figure out how they’d cure the poison.
Instead, that handsome man pushed me aside and knelt down instead, rolling up his sleeves. He raised his hand, and a faint silvery light shone from within. Turning it over, he extended his index finger to quickly jabbed the people in various places with blinding speed.
The people stopped groaning, and the flush in their faces faded away. He was going to approach the thief by my side next, but I stood up to block him. “What are you doing?”
“There’s no antidote for Drunken Dream of Lovemaking.”
“No, there isn’t,” he nodded, “But this drug wasn’t well-made, so I can cure its effects.”
I choked, offended.
He dodged and swerved behind me, rolling up his sleeves as his hand quickly jabbed the thief like a hedgehog in various places.
I was angry…
He actually said my drug was defective!
“All right, that should do it.”
He lifted his head, using his sleeve to wipe away some sweat. I started shaking as I pretended to look at the skies, my hands groping about inside my sleeves. There was only one pill pellet pinched between my fingers, and another paper packet landed on the boy’s body.
He lowered his head, shocked.
Next he turned to look at me, his limpid and clear. His glance was as clean and indifferent as autumn waters. I suddenly felt my face grow hot as I averted my eyes.
“Great sage, go cure the poison.”
In the outside world, there’s no choice besides acting like a ruffian. Those aren’t my words, though.
This poison was personally concocted by me, so very few outsiders knew of it. Those who could cure it had to rely on their skills, especially since this “Tickled Laughing Buddha” was no ordinary drug.
He reached out a hand to check a pulse, before giving some instructions to the bystanders to quiet down the little boy rolling around on the ground, laughing uncontrollably.
Not much later, he carried over a bowl of water that he poured over the child, drenching him thoroughly.
The laughter stopped.
The little thief opened his eyes and looked at the two of us, a little puzzled.
“It’s fine now, good child…you can go back.” He gave a virtuous smile as if to say, the evil demon has reached his wit’s end, he won’t threaten you anymore.
I prepared to go all out.
“You should stop before you go too far.” His hand rested on my own, which was digging restlessly through my robes.
I laughed, and gave him an open smile. He was momentarily distracted and lessened the pressure on my hands. I took the chance to withdraw my arm and…
…scattered my entire inventory of poisons.
The little thief closed his eyes as they assaulted his face, before his arms and legs spread out to fall to the ground, unconscious.
I laughed and waved my hand. “You… Don’t be shy, go save him.”
This time the beautiful person’s eyebrows were almost vertical slits. Again he took the boy’s pulse, enduring one more time to check beneath his eyelids, the movements less leisurely than before. I guess he was worried about being poisoned himself.
Truthfully, the medical ethics of this person far surpassed that of Fang Hua. He wasn’t the type of person to just be a bystander. If the patient had no silver, he’d still save them. Not like my yifu…
Even if you gave him taels of silver, he’d still look on with a cold eye. According to his words, he’d only come to the rescue if Shao’er was on death’s door.
Actually, by my guess…if that day really came, he would still drink a cup of tea and have a game of chess with Han Zichuan before respectfully admiring my deathbed portrait.
I sucked in a breath and refocused. When I saw the helpless expression on the beautiful person’s face, my mood turned excellent. From my robes, I took out two of the pill bottles I hadn’t sold yet and took a sniff before selecting one. I poured a pill into my palm and waved it before the handsome man’s face like a rare jewel, then placed it in the mouth of the little thief.
“Three, two, one, wake up.”
Groggily, the boy rubbed his eyes and awakened. He gave a start and scrambled far away from us, his face fill of vigilance. He’d been frightened quite a bit.
“Remember, little brother, if I see you stealing people’s silver again, I’ll have to test out other poisonous powders too!”
“I won’t dare, I won’t dare!”
He leapt up and disappeared.
Looks like Fang Hua’s pills were quite effective. Not only could they cure unusual poisons, but strengthen the body as well…that little punk really got the advantage.
“Could this young master tell me what sort of miracle pill you have in your hand?” The other man clasped his hands towards me, eyes shining with interest as he stared at…the bottle in my hand.
I tossed it over, and he caught it with reverence and awe.
His nose rested by the opening of the bottle and took a sniff before his face lit up with pleasure. Those willow-like eyebrows rose up as he spoke. “Ingenious! Could this young master come a little closer to speak with me?”
I was surprised. As it turned out…
Coming closer for a chat ended up with him taking me to a restaurant instead. He was liberal with his money, and ordered quite a few dishes with some excellent wine. When he politely stood up to pour, his graceful bearing was remarkable. Afterwards, he sat fondly holding the bottle of pills in his hands.
“Dare I ask if young master concocted these pills on his own?”
I took a sip and glanced at him. “My master made them.”
“I see. May I ask the name of this revered master?”
I only gave a snort and ignored him, using my chopsticks to pick through the dishes while sipping another mouthful of wine. He hurriedly stood up and refilled my cup to the brim.
“Please excuse me, I’ve offended you.”
So speaking, he sat back down, furtively touching the pill bottle as if he loved it too much to let it go. I looked at him and found the whole thing a little laughable.
“As it turned out, I’ve been thinking this bottle’s gotten a little heavy. It’s a bit inconvenient to carry it around, so I was going to sell it to a shop. If you like it, I’ll sell it to you instead.”
After a moment of joy, his eyes dimmed again. “I’m on an official visit at the moment, so I didn’t bring along much silver. I’m afraid that young master will be reluctant to part with his cherished possession.”
That couldn’t be…
I looked him up and down. There was even a white jade lotus hairstick on his head.
The cut of his clothing was resplendent, and bright pearls were sewn onto the sash about his waist. His undergown floated about with his elegant and smart carriage, making him seem like the wealthy young master of a high official’s family. That’s right…
Back during the incident with the sedan chair, someone had called him an imperial physician.
At such a young age, he was already traveling in such an imposing, dignified manner. He didn’t look like a poor person, so could he really not have a trifling five taels of silver?
He gently bumped me with his elbow. “Young master, please go ahead and offer a price first.”
I hesitated a bit, my five fingers spread out on the table to think… “One price, and it’s this number.”
He put on a difficult expression.
I hit the table. “Aish, forget it. In light of the wonderful meal on this table…” I stuck out two fingers. “Just two taels… …”
“Two taels of gold.”
That’s right. A person shouldn’t be too greedy. This table full of food was probably worth two taels of silver–
I blinked a few times.
What did he say?
Two taels of gold?!!!!!!! [Most up to date translations for this series can be found on volaretranslations.]