This crown prince is way too strong! Even after he left, my tail didn’t settle down until after I ate a meal. Stealing a sky-realm-ranked sword is easier said than done, huh? And the only other option is to collect people’s heads! I’m not a murderer; that’s something I can’t do. Why couldn’t the prince have demanded penises instead? Cutting those off isn’t murder. Hah. Well, just because I refuse to kill people doesn’t mean I can’t collect any heads for merits. All I have to do is rob our allies! The crown prince said that was allowed. I’m not sure why though; doesn’t that make absolutely no sense at all? Why would he want infighting in his army? Well, I’m not going to question it!
But it probably is easier to collect heads myself…. Do I go against all my principles and commit murder for Durandal’s sake? I’m a good, moral, upright person! I can’t do that. Oh! What if I beat the enemies to near death and then have my minions harvest their heads? That way, I won’t be responsible for killing them. At most, I’d be an accessory to murder, and that’s totally morally okay. And since I gave all my minions earth-realm-ranked swords, they all pledged to do whatever I say. There shouldn’t be any issues at all. It’s settled then! My genius shines through once again.
Wait a minute…. I could get even more merits if I did both! I’ll beat up enemies and rob my allies! Wow, I knew I was a genius, but this necklace of intelligence makes me a super-duper even smarter genius with better ideas! Collecting five thousand earth-realm experts’ heads will be a cinch. Hmm? Five sky-realm experts’ heads? Not happening! If four people as scary as the crown prince are going to show up along with the rest of the sky-realm experts, then I’ll die. And I don’t want to die, so I won’t do anything to provoke them. Durandal might call me a coward for picking on those weaker than me, but he’s not here to judge me, so it doesn’t matter. Besides, I’m doing this for him. If he complains about the method I used to stick him in a sky-realm-ranked sword, I’m sincerely going to go on a quest to find sky-realm-ranked panties.
Alright, first things first, we have to settle down in the barracks that were assigned to us. The army camp is nothing like the one back when I was a punching bag for the Ravenwood army. Instead of a dreary place with rotted wooden planks and straw roofs, this training ground is a lot more natural. And, by that, I mean our barracks is a hole in the ground. …Again. What’s with cultivators and their obsession with living like moles!? It’s a good thing I stole so many buildings from those sects. Sheesh. These caves don’t even keep rainwater from soaking into the ground and creeping up on their inhabitants’ butts when they meditate. How are cultivators going to be immortal if they catch a cold?
Anyways, we have a week of rest before we’re required to join the battlefield. I don’t know why the crown prince thinks we’re tired, but he ordered us to standby at the base, and no matter what, we shouldn’t approach the warzone until a week is up. But I don’t want to wait a week before I can acquire merits! That’s why, I’m going to place this mansion down by the entrance to the camp, right by this watchtower. As soon as the watchtower signals someone is coming, I’ll go outside and rob them! The crown prince said we’re not allowed to fight in the camp unless it’s at the arena of grudges, so I have to leave the camp first. I’m following the rules like an obedient soldier! Military discipline is very important, mhm. If a soldier doesn’t obey orders, then the whole structure will collapse and the soldier will be whipped a hundred times with barbed leather. At least, that’s how it was back in the Ravenwood army. I don’t care if this army’s structure collapses, but I don’t want to be whipped again!
“She’s not listening.”
Who’s not listening? Wait, who said that? Ilya?
“…When did she stop listening?” Softie asked. They were both following me around as I set down my furniture in the mansion. I don’t have much, just a bed and lots of pillows. But the pillows have to be arranged in a certain way under the blanket to make it seem like Durandal’s waiting for me.
“She never stopped listening,” Ilya said. “You can’t stop what you never started, after all.”
“Lucia? Hello?” Softie’s fingers crept close to tug on my sleeve. She does that a lot to get my attention. I’m not sure why.
“Hmm? What’s up?”
Softie lowered her head and looked up at me through her eyelashes. She’s so frail and soft-looking! I’m jealous. Even her voice sounded like a helpless maiden that you just wanted to protect from everything. If I swapped vocal cords with her, would I have her voice? Hmm. “What do you think about what I said earlier? About the formation we should employ.”
“The what we should what?” Employ a who? I’m not hiring anyone. “Explain from the top.”
Softie nodded. If she were like Ilya, she would’ve sighed and hung her head, but Softie’s a lot more patient. “The battlefield is going to be hectic, with thousands of people on the field at the same time. We—”
“Halt! Who goes there?”
Softie’s brow wrinkled. “Maybe we should relocate the mansion to some place less noisy. How about—”
And once again, she was cut off by the shouts coming from outside the open window. “This is Captain Smoke. We’ve finished the patrol. Requesting permission to enter.”
That’s my signal!
“L-Lucia!? Where are you—”
I didn’t get to hear the rest of Softie’s question because the wind rushing past my ears drowned out her voice. She should really learn how to speak louder. Anyways, there’s this giant defensive formation surrounding the camp that kind of looks like a fence made of light. Softie told me people could leave the camp without an issue, but they’d be attacked by the formation if they tried to enter without permission. Before this formation goes down, I have to seize Captain Smoke’s merits! They’re much more useful in my hands; thus, it’s totally okay for me to take them from him. But first, I have to make sure I can take him on it a fight! …My tail’s nice and springy, perfect. And since I shouldn’t hurt my allies, I’ll use my non-lethal technique! “Heart Devil Apparition!”
This defensive formation tickles! It makes me want to scratch my ears when I pass through. Mm. Anyways, there’s a big group of people waiting outside standing in neat rows. And my heart devil predator, who I named Fluffles, grew in size and swallowed them all in one bite. A few chewing sounds accompanied by screams later, Fluffles disappeared and left behind a bunch of shivering and sobbing men. They didn’t even notice me when I took their stuff, and … there’s no heads. Why aren’t there any heads in any of the rings? “Hey, Captain Smokey?”
…Mm. Well, at least I planted a few heart devils. And I got some underwear! I wonder if that succubus sect will pay more if they’re soiled. “Lucia Fluffytail, requesting permission to enter the camp!”