FM Chapter 35

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Living up to Summer Vacation (2)

When we reached our hometown, Mr. Tan, the Bureau Chief of Education of our small town, personally received us, even brimming with passion as he gave some speeches: “Yesterday, you were proud of your hometown, but now, your hometown is proud of you” and stuff like that. The news video camera of the small town kept flashing past our eyes. Every time it flashed before me, I would stand upright and still as I made my body rigid. When it flashed to my side, I would return to being bored, with a lifeless look in my eyes. Thus, on TV, whenever my front view was shown, you would see me rouse to vigorous action, but when you saw my side view, my energy would immediately deplete and become depressed.

The mission for our first day was to return to our old school and give speeches to the students about to go into junior year and prepare them for the Gaokao (Chinese SAT). The academic atmosphere of our little town was extremely prosperous. Summer vacation right before the Gaokao was practically the third term of school.

As I passed by their classroom, I saw their tables had a pile of textbooks and review materials. I laughed like a pervert. That type of “even a submissive daughter-in-law will one day become a domineering mother-in-law” [1] feeling as I saw raised eyebrows and exhaling moods, made me feel very satisfied.

Original and most updated translations are from Please do not steal our work or read this anywhere other than volarenovels!

When we set foot in the auditorium, I saw a ring shaped lectern on the stage. Offstage were the dense mass of juniors. Senior brother Yu personally made a speech at this meeting, saying some things that sounded like recruiting lines: “Peking University is not a dream”. When he finished, the applause offstage sounded like thunder, as they changed beyond recognition. Thus I took it that I had hidden myself well. The encouragement class finished, and then Senior Bro Yu warmly invited students to question him at will. Seeing the full house of heads, I comfortably leaned on the back of a chair, watching everyone interact.

I thought about how obscure and unknown I had been back in high school. Many people didn’t know my name,  and luckily the school didn’t know as well otherwise they would have carved my name onto the “humiliation pillar”

A girl wearing glasses stood up and asked: “Right now, the most difficult thing for me is English. I always feel there’s not enough time, and that I can’t remember so many terms. Do you guys have any secret know-hows?”

A senior sis sitting in the middle, passionately stood up to reply: “To remember terms, you must make use of every second and every inch. Before, when I was drying my hair or waiting for the bus, I would always bring a English handbook with me. With time, I became like a sponge, able to cram everything in.”

I suddenly remembered that this senior sis was also the one who had started all the rumors, hit the shuttlecock, fished out a English handbook, and then rallied it back. She had never neglected exercising or learning, and she was also the leading scholar at the time who we could not touch. Towards her extorting, I thought that this whole lifetime, I was afraid of unable to reach that boundary. We were two separate people, and two different types of people. Beside me sat hidden dragons and crouching tigers. I should bring my wooden stool and go downstage to sit downstage.

Wen Tao who sat next to me, quietly asked: “Are you very appreciative?”

I sneered: “I am currently depressed. I will forever maintain a gap with you people who are full of knowledge and experience. For example, you guys know how to say things like: “With time, I became like a sponge, able to cram everything in”, but if it were me, I wouldn’t know how to say things like that.”

Wen Tao asked: “Then what would you say?”

I would say: “Time is like cleavage. Even if you squeeze, you will still have a lot.”

Original and most updated translations are from Please do not steal our work or read this anywhere other than volarenovels!

Wen Tao howled with laughter despite his image. The senior sis thought that she had said something wrong and panicked, as she turned her head around to look at him. As for Wen Tao, he still twitched as he lay on the table, unable to control himself.  Ru Ting and Fang Yuke at the other side, had probably heard my words. Ru Ting’s whole face thoroughly went red. Only Fang Yuke was completely calm and collected as he twirled a pen in his hands, with a shallow smile on his lips. Fang Yuke had gotten used to my way of saying things early on, so he was able to keep his calm in the face of the unexpected. This was the benefit of getting used to something.

In the midst of the orderly questioning, I couldn’t help but sigh with feeling at the speedy lives of all these high schoolers. Most of the questions were “XX do you have any know-alls for XX?”. This really made it hard for the few science master’s degrees students and the students who had to stake everything to think of themselves at that time, and the shortcuts they used for literature and language. Suddenly, someone asked: “Is Zhou Lin Lin here?”

My heart immediately sank. Could it be possible that I had owed someone money in the past and forgot to return it? How come someone remembered my name at this time? I stood up and nodded, to show that the untalented me was humbly here.

He seemed like a naughty little demon, as he cheerfully said, when he saw me stand up: “I heard that your grades in junior year were very unstable, so how did manage to exhibit your best moments in the most crucial moment? And are you used to Peking University? Have you found a boyfriend?”

Heaven always gave me the hardest questions. For example, in this public place with numerous people, in broad daylight, there was actually someone who had asked about my lovelife. And did something about unstable grades have to emphasized like this?!

I maintained my elegance: “Thank you for this Junior Bro’s concern. I will answer these questions one by one. First, about expressing yourself. Does everyone want to hear the truth or the lies?”

The people downstage said, “Truth!”

I laughed, satisfied. The feeling of controlling people like this was really not bad. No wonder so many people wanted to run for the President of the Student Union: “The truth is, at the time, my brain only had one thought: After I finish testing, I will be free! Then, I can play mahjong all night and no one will care about me. It was this thought that kept me going until the end. When everyone tests, do not excessively ponder things like ‘what-if’. If you really test badly you can’t worry about it. The first principle for lazy people is: Do not let things that have not happened disturb you.”

Everyone downstage laughed. The atmosphere was full of amiableness.

I continued: “The second principle of a lazy person is: Do not worry about questions that you can answer with instinct. For example, the answer to whether I have adapted to Peking Uni is~ Adaptation is a person’s instinct. There are hard parts, but the basis of adapting is whether you can innovate, and whether you can surpass everyone else. Some people in Peking Uni who have been there for at least a month and less than a year will adapt to their surroundings. But many other people will stop and be in an identical state during all four years. That is stopping to adapt. But after some people adapt, they even have to exploit themselves of the school’s resources and change their environment, and change themselves. This type is the second state. Unfortunately, I am a slow and patient life form, and I am the type that needs a year to adapt, so we cannot discuss what type I really am.”

The audience was very quiet. I satisfiedly reached the subject I did not want to talk about most: “The third question is on my personal sex life. Just now, this curious younger schoolmate asked in a confused state of mind, so this older sister will just have to think with a confused state of mind. The third principle of a lazy person: If I don’t go over, the mountain must come over. Once the celestial peach blossoms [2] to fall down like rain, then everything will be all right…..”

Everyone enthusiastically applauded. I had completed my mission so I sat down.

Wen Tao looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time: “Springboard, you really know your stuff!”

Original and most updated translations are from Please do not steal our work or read this anywhere other than volarenovels!

“You would believe even such a con?! Besides the sentence: ‘Just now, this curious younger schoolmate asked in a confused state of mind, so this older sister will just have to think with a confused state of mind’ which came from the bottom of my heart, the rest were all fabricated. And you still believed it……”

At night, we all made plans to go get a meal. Because this afternoon at the conference, I was going to make a special appearance, I was arranged to be at the same table as Bureau Chief Tan. Fang Yuke was the university president’s grandson, and the Bureau Chief seemed pretty familiar with him, and Wen Tao was an esteemed guest so the three of us were arranged to sit in the VIP region.

The Bureau Chief was a modest and unassuming old fellow. He personally poured wine and drinks for everyone. When he got ot me, he even especially asked me: “Do you want to drink some wine or some other beverages?” Today, I was in good spirit, but just when I wanted to say “wine”, I saw Fang Yuke’s biting cold expression, and I obediently and timidly said, “I’ll just drink a beverage. I am giving up wine.”

Even though the Bureau Chief was an old fellow, he was a Zhou Botong [3] full of gossiping energy.

What a cute old fellow. I tried to touch around the subject: “In the past, I drank wine, and I nearly destroyed someone’s life. I don’t dare drink anymore.”

“Haha……” The old fellow laughed openly, his head working especially bright. “I have a grandson. Next year he’ll be a junior, and his nature seems a lot like you. His head doesn’t work that well, and he just doesn’t like to study. Next time, I’ll introduce him to you guys, and you can help me keep an eye on him for his studies. Even if I ask you to be his private tutor, I don’t know whether you would do me the honor…..”

Rubbish, how can I not do you the honor? In this circle of people, you singled me out and invited me, so I’ve already been overwheeeelmed by favor from this superior. But, how is my nature so poor quality? I think the only place it seems the same as your grandson is that we don’t love to study.”

I laughed flatteringly: “I really don’t deserve so much praise. How does my head not work that well… the most, I like to jest. Frankly, I have never been a private tutor, and my grades in high school were more dismal. It falls short of the senior sisters and brothers present today.” The most important part was that not even a previous drop of my summer vacation will be used for your grandson. Instead, it will be used to squander money and waste time.

“It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter.” The old fellow promptly waved his hands, “A person like him just can’t seem to settle down his temper. You don’t need to give him any specialized help. If there is time, just straighten him out. On the aspect of learning, as long as Xiao Ke [4] helps, I’ll feel at ease.” While he spoke, he pointed at the nearby Fang Yuke.

Original and most updated translations are from Please do not steal our work or read this anywhere other than volarenovels!

Fang Yuke laughed: “Tan Yi can’t settle down so you give him to me to coach……”

Alas, I originally thought their family only had a literary reputation, but it turned out they were also linked in countless ways with the government families…..

I lowered my voice and said, “Right now it is very common for love to emerge between an older woman and younger man. Aren’t you afraid that I’ll take a fancy for your little grandson?”

The old fellow’s ears were sharp: “Haha, don’t worry. So long as he hardens his heart, I have no objections.”

Hey, I just said you were cute, but why did you begin to slander me? Am I such a low person? What is called hardening your heart? This old woman is in great demand, okay?

Wen Tao laughed at the other end: “Chief Tan, don’t worry. Basically, your grandson won’t go onto that path. There’s me to go through first. As for hardening his heart, you can make me do it.”

I didn’t expect that on the same day after we finished dinner, we would see the legendary Tan Yi who had the same disposition as me. Tan Yi just happened to be finding the old fellow for some matters. That was when he hurriedly let us talk alone to cultivate some emotions.

He was younger than me, and if I were sweet, I would call him a shota [5]. If I was in a crappy mood, I would call him a bad child. But even if Tan Yi was hot, he definitely wouldn’t reach the rank of the most handsome boy in the school. And speaking of his badness, there would definitely be a pure girl who would send him a love letter. In those days, people like Li Jun [6] who were somewhat beautiful had not become popular yet. However, this child already had the trend of drawing close to other people.

“Are you the one who tested in with luck?” Tan Yi picked at his eyebrows as he asked me.

Ahh, child, you have no manners. This older sis is not to be trifled with: “Yep, I am the person who got in with ease, and I am also the person who relied on God to get into Peking Uni.”

“You still don’t have a boyfriend?” Tan Yi looked at me with disdain.

The rumors from this afternoon sure traveled quickly. This was the concept of: Good things don’t travel out the door, while bad things travel for thousands of miles.

“Don’t worry, I’m just going to be your private tutor, right? I won’t disturb you. Even if I am going to find a boyfriend, he has to be a male. I don’t have any perverted notions.”

Younger people were easier to get angry suddenly. Tan Yi immediately got furious: “Speak nicer for me.”

I hated high official kids like this the most. Let alone, your grandpa isn’t some super big government official. This old woman has already gone to Beijing, while your grandfather’s education system can’t even control this old woman.Why should I be afraid of you?

I laughed mischievously: “Have you never noticed Fang Yuke’s formidable power? You can’t stand it just from my little petty words?”

Tan Yi cautiously asked: “You are very close with Xiao Ke bro?”

“Of course we’re close, we’re sooo close. Are you close with him? But, calling him Xiao Ke bro makes it a lot too easy for other people to think of some impure images. You can’t be… strange right?”

“What do you mean?”

Alas, either the other person was too pure or I was just too mature. I could only say: “My meaning is, is your sexual orientation normal?”

Sure enough, Tan Yi was infuriated, and he could only ferociously say: “Say some cleaner things for me.” His merit was too inferior. How did his grandfather see anything similar between him and me? How could someone like me, a bright lotus flower in the virtual human world, compare with someone so clumsy in speech?

I didn’t think that I would have to use these types of methods to make friends with this guy in our first meeting. But an exchange of blows might lead to friendship. The later Tan Yi became much easier to face. Basically, as long as I derided him, he would listen to me. In other words, he was full of masochistic qualities.

Original and most updated translations are from Please do not steal our work or read this anywhere other than volarenovels!

Because of his grandfather’s relationship, they made an exception and Tan Yi joined our travel group.

[1] “even a submissive daughter-in-law will one day become a domineering mother-in-law” means what goes around comes around. Basically, even if you’re a daughter-in-law who has to respect your mother-in-law now, later you’ll become that mother-in-law.

[2] peach blossoms can also refer to love affairs

[3] Xiao Ke- Nickname for Fang Yuke. Think Xiao Xi= Xie Duan Xi

[4] Zhou Botong: 周伯通: He is from Legend of the Condor Heroes and Return of the Condor Heroes which are both by Jin Yong. “Why did you give it up? After hearing your afternoon speech, and based off of my liquor experiences, your capacity for liquor should be pretty good. In terms of wine, women aren’t a match for men.”

“…Instead, he roams the jianghu to derive entertainment from anything of interest to him, including fights and toys. Despite so, he still maintains respect for Wang Chongyang and abides by Quanzhen’s rules.” (Wikipedia-

[5] Apparently shotacon is a Japanese loanword that means “manga or anime genre depicting young boys in an erotic manner” READ chensha’s comment below for more info!

[6] Li Jun: Fictional character from Water Margin or Outlaws of the Marsh by Shi Nai’an 施耐庵, one of the Four Classic Novels of Chinese literature

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