To my dear readers,
Long time no post! A few days ago, I was browsing on youtube and clicked on a Chinese dating psychological video that came up in suggestions. Unfortunately, the title is too long and I couldn’t find it again to share it here. However, since I found the content very interesting, I would like to share the parts that I do remember with you guys today.
The love specialist states that people mainly fall into three different categories when it comes to dating and relationships:
To make things simple, X represents the person that you want.
-X is someone you’re emotionally attached and physically attracted to
-Wants X to do things with you. X’s presence alone is enough
-Typically young love and very innocent
-Physical attraction alone is no longer enough
-Other things that didn’t matter much in Category A begin to matter. For example: X’s earning potential, X’s spending habits, X’s goals in life, X’s routines/behaviour, etc
-Less emotional and more logical
-Goal: long term commitment, starting a future together, may want to start a family
-Does not want emotional commitment, no strings attached
-X must be physically attractive to you
-Usually appeals to players, hot or rich people due to abundance of choice
-Goal: fulfill sexual needs
The specialist believes that relationships end because one or both parties’ needs weren’t met. Sometimes, people may start off in the same category, but one person or both may switch into another category during their course of time together. If your goals and X’s goals are no longer aligned, conflict arises.
The specialist also suggested that women have a tendency to enter category B far earlier than their male counterparts. This has to do with females’ biological clocks and how they’re naturally wired. As a result, some men feel like all women care about is money. However, in reality, they are aiming for stability and longevity.
On the other hand, men tend to be more visual creatures who think with their ‘animal brains’. From an evolutionary perspective, they want to spread their seeds to as many mates as possible. In turn, some women think all men care about is sex. In actuality, it’s their hormones and biology.
The specialist continues on to say that some people may remain in the same category throughout their whole lives, while others may switch or go back and forth from different categories depending on their experiences.
Obviously, relationships are never simply black or white. There are definitely many other possible reasons for conflicts to occur. Ex. loss of attraction, cheating, insecurity, distance, and etc. However, overall, I feel like the specialist really knows what he’s talking about.
Do you agree or disagree with his views? What are your thoughts?
Note: Of course it is possible to have partners who provide both companionship and stability. But those in category B would weigh the stability component higher than the companionship component. The stability component would be a prerequisite.There is no right or wrong. It’s just what the person wants.
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Have you read my other Grace Time posts?! If not, feel free to check them out here!