UPX Chapter 96

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Chapter 96: His Majesty thoroughly beats up His Excellency Xie Original and most updated translations are from volare. If read elsewhere, this chapter has been stolen. Please stop supporting theft.

“Have Qin Xuan go to the Windward Pavilion later,” Lou Zigui instructed Ji Yuerong in a low voice before pulling Ning Xiaoyao out to the corridor. Ning Xiaoyao glanced back and saw that Ji Yuerong’s eyes were red from crying. Because she’d been wiping at her tears, her cheeks were as red as a monkey’s bottom. Despite this, she could still see the coy expression on her features.

“You’ve committed a sin,” Ning Xiaoyao whispered to Lou Zigui.

“What?” Lou Zigui didn’t understand. I shouldn’t have done anything against my conscience today, right?

“You hurt Miss Ji,” Ning Xiaoyao said.

Lou Zigui knitted his eyebrows. “What exactly did I do?”

Once again, Ning Xiaoyao felt sorry for Ji Yuerong. His Excellency Supreme Commander was utterly blind to the faults of a young woman’s heart. “You only said one thing to Miss Ji just then, but she was happy and shy beyond words. Don’t you know?”

Lou Zigui looked back at Ji Yuerong. Which part of her tear-streaked face looked shy at all? He raised his hand and knocked it against Ning Xiaoyao’s skull. “Don’t speak nonsense. You can’t ruin Miss Ji’s reputation.”

Ning Xiaoyao pursed her lips.

“Let’s talk about serious matters instead,” Lou Zigui added in a low voice.

Ning Xiaoyao didn’t get it. Weren’t her words just then about serious matters?

“You can use this chance to take away Xie Anyi’s position as the Minister of Revenue,” Lou Zigui said as they left the courtyard.

Ning Xiaoyao was lost. “Just like that? Weren’t we going to talk about him and Miss Qin?”

“Since we’ve done so much already, we might as well do everything else we can,” Lou Zigui said. “Maltreating his proper wife shows that Xie Anyi lacks any virtues. How could a man like that hold a position at court?”

Ning Xiaoyao said, “Speak slower so I can remember what you said.”

“………” said Lou Zigui. Why do you need to remember my words?

Inside the Windward Pavilion, the banquet tables had been set up on a veranda overlooking the flower gardens. Men sat on the left, while women sat on the right. Thus, the officials were all on the left side of the veranda, while their first wives were on the right, obscured behind three beaded curtains. When everyone saw Ning Xiaoyao and Lou Zigui walk through the garden’s full moon door, they all bowed to greet the emperor.

“Rise,” Lou Zigui told Ning Xiaoyao.

“Ah?” Ning Xiaoyao turned around.

“Say ‘rise,’” Lou Zigui taught Ning Xiaoyao. From what he’d seen, the girl didn’t know to speak such things.

“Oh,” Ning Xiaoyao turned back at the crowd. “Rise, haha. You can all get up.”

Lou Zigui could only sigh. Even if I teach her, there’s no telling if she’ll say it properly.

After all the subjects rose to their feet, they stared at Lou Zigui standing behind Ning Xiaoyao with different expressions on their faces.

“Oh?” Ning Xiaoyao’s eyes swept over the crowd before telling Lou Zigui, “Prince Zhi came, too.”

Prince Zhi’s face was still swollen as he stared at Ning Xiaoyao.

“Go sit in the host’s seat,” Lou Zigui said.

Ning Xiaoyao replied, “Who cares about sitting when we have a job to do? Where’s that Xie Anyi?”

“Sit down, then speak,” Lou Zigui said.

“Dangit,” Ning Xiaoyao ran forward. “I see him!”

“…………” said Supreme Commander Lou. Can’t you listen to me once in awhile?

“Sh, should we follow?” Shadowthunder glanced at Supreme Commander Lou.

Lou Zigui was rather irritated. “You’re still afraid that someone will bully His Majesty?”

Shadowthunder was a docile type, so he simply shook his head. “I’m not anxious. This servant is more worried that His Majesty will kill off His Excellency Xie instead.”

His words were all too true and easily imagined which left Supreme Commander Lou speechless.

Meanwhile, Ning Xiaoyao was already standing in front of Xie Anyi. As His Majesty Ning saw it, she didn’t need to waste words on jerks like him. It was better to get physical right away. Because Ning Xiaoyao hadn’t sat down, everyone else was standing, too. When Xie Anyi saw Ning Xiaoyao approach him, he bent his body forward in a bow. Ning Xiaoyao raised her fist and sucked in a breath. She was preparing to beat him up.

Just then, a mama from Empress Zhou’s side quickly went to Ning Xiaoyao and bent over with a murmur. “Your Majesty, Esteemed Empress ordered this servant to tell Your Majesty that the eldest young madame of the Xie Clan didn’t come. It was née Wang who came in her place.”

Ning Xiaoyao’s eyes widened. That little white lotus green tea1 came, too?

The mama whispered, “Your Majesty, although Madame Wang is also a titled lady, she’s nothing more than Eldest Young Master Xie’s equal wife.”2

Ning Xiaoyao went off to the side with this mama and said, “I know she’s an equal wife, it’s more or less equal to a concubine. How come she still got an imperial title?” Aren’t imperial titles only given out to the first wife?

This mama wasn’t used to Ning Xiaoyao’s style of speaking, but she understood the gist of what she had meant. “Your Majesty, Madame Wang’s title was given to her by the late emperor.”

“Heheh,” Ning Xiaoyao replied. It’s that bastard the late emperor again. He really does love the Xie Clan, ah.

The mama asked Ning Xiaoyao, “I don’t know what Your Majesty would like to propose to do?”

“There’s no need for the empress to get physical,” Ning Xiaoyao said, “Leave her to me.” The empress is pregnant, so it’s no good for her to fight. What if something happens to the baby?

Get physical? His Majesty’s going to beat up young née Wang? The mama was stunned. The strongest punishment she’d thought of was forcing née Wang to kneel in penance, or have the court ladies lecture her. Why did it turn into His Majesty beating her up?

“You look pretty happy,” Ning Xiaoyao had already set her sights on Xie Anyi, who had turned nervous. However, he had no idea where he’d gone wrong for His Majesty to lecture him. By now, Lou Zigui and Shadowthunder had walked over as well. Supreme Commander Lou looked coldest at the eldest young master of the Xie Clan, while Shadowthunder simply harrumphed.

Xie Anyi said, “Your Majesty, my father didn’t leave the estate today.”

Ning Xiaoyao said, “I’m talking to you, so what are you bringing up your father for?”

Xie Anyi said, “This subject invites Your Majesty to instruct me.”

Zhen!” Lou Zigui emphasized to Ning Xiaoyao one more time.

“Zhen brought Miss Qin into the palace,” Ning Xiaoyao said as she stared at Xie Anyi.

“Miss Qin?” Elder Li spoke up. He was sitting right next to Xie Anyi.

Ning Xiaoyao remembered that she couldn’t use a woman’s given name, and clarified, “It’s Qin Xin, ah.”

Qin Xin?

The entire veranda grew so silent that even the sound of breathing stopped.

Née Qin is at the palace? Xie Anyi looked thunderstruck as his face paled. By now, the second and third young masters of the Xie clan knew that they were screwed as well. Even though they were unclear about their sister-in-law’s illness, they knew that née Qin had a difficult life at the Xie estate.

Slap!

Ning Xiaoyao soundly smacked Xie Anyi on the face. As a scholarly type, Xie Anyi was ill-suited to bear the blow, which knocked him straight to the ground. Ning Xiaoyao stepped forward and started kicking him with her foot. She’d wanted to do this as soon as she first laid eyes on Qin Xin at the Grand Preceptor’s estate. Finally, she’d fulfilled her heart’s desire! Xie Anyi rolled around on the ground as Ning Xiaoyao kicked him. Soon enough, blood began pouring from his nose.

“That’s right, kick him to death!” Shadowthunder said gleefully from the side. Lou Zigui rested his forehead in his hands. Just what kind of people are we keeping?

When Lou Zigui saw that the pool of blood on the ground even had a few teeth, he stepped forward and grabbed Ning Xiaoyao by the waist. “Your Majesty, there’s no need for you to personally handle such affairs.”

“I want to beat him to death!” Ning Xiaoyao’s feet were dangling off the ground as her hands threw punches at the air. “This jerk, arrruugghhhhhh! I wanna kill him!”

“Your Majesty!” Lou Zigui murmured, “Think of the soldiers still in the Xie Clan’s hands, hurry!” Supreme Commander was close to begging her to calm down.

“………..” said Ning Xiaoyao, who suddenly felt depressed. What the heck, what now?

Lou Zigui carried Ning Xiaoyao until she was ten steps away from Xie Anyi, but didn’t let go. He was afraid she’d run straight back to continue her “assault.” Xie Anyi lay on the ground and spat up a few mouthfuls of blood. Though he looked half-dead, he was still conscious.

Shadowthunder scooted over and said, “Your Majesty, His Excellency Xie’s still conscious.”

“Withdraw!” Lou Zigui rebuked him for causing more trouble.

Ning Xiaoyao said, “Of course. When I beat people up, I make sure they stay conscious so they can feel the pain. Second Thunder, don’t you worry. He’ll be bedridden for half a year after this.” She was very smug.

Supreme Commander Lou didn’t want to understand what was worth being proud of with that.

“Hm?” Ning Xiaoyao looked around her. “Why aren’t any of you talking?”

Everyone had turned wooden as soon as Ning Xiaoyao started thrashing Xie Anyi. Even now, they were still somewhat stupefied. His Majesty personally beating up his subjects? We’ve never heard of such a thing, alright?

If he wanted to kill off Xie Anyi, why not just decree his execution instead? Why did he have to give up his dignity and prestige to do the deed himself? They just didn’t get it. It didn’t make sense for His Majesty to beat up Xie Anyi just for née Qin’s sake!

… …

The thoughts of the crowd were wide and scattered like a chaotic windstorm.

“What’s happened to them all?” Ning Xiaoyao asked Lou Zigui.

“Stunned,” Supreme Commander Lou said accurately.

Tch,” Ning Xiaoyao pursed her lips. Why did the Northern Hu bully Yongning all the time? All you had to do was look at their government officials. They were already stunned from watching a thrashing, so wouldn’t they be scared to death when they saw an actual fight? (Author: If you don’t get it, don’t make wild guesses…)

“Your Majesty,” Elder Li was always the first one to recover his senses. He walked in front of Ning Xiaoyao and asked, “What crime has His Excellency Xie committed?”

“Favoring the concubine and doing away with the wife,” Lou Zigui helped Ning Xiaoyao explain, because he was sure she didn’t know how to say such words. Elder Li looked at Ning Xiaoyao, who readied herself for combat.

“Your Majesty,” Elder Li said, “For the sake of His Excellency Xie’s family affairs, you beat him up like this?”

Ning Xiaoyao replied, “Old gramps, which side are you on?”

Elder Li wore a respectful expression. “This subject only stands on the side of impartiality.”

“Impartiality?” Ning Xiaoyao suddenly recalled Miss Ji’s words. When Qin Xuan petitioned the late emperor, these clear stream faction types had said something about wives following their husbands after marriage. They didn’t help out, but even trampled over the Qin siblings.

Elder Li said, “A married woman with a husband–”

“Drop it already,” Ning Xiaoyao said. “Old gramps, you’re planning to swindle me the same way you swindled my imperial father in the past?”

Elder Li’s face turned black. Swindle?

“Your Majesty.” Immediately, a disciple of Elder Li wanted to speak up.

“Please shut your mouth,” Ning Xiaoyao pointed at the speaker, then at everyone else to boot. “All of you, shut your mouths. Dammnit, you’re all talk and no action. If something has nothing to do with you, you just treat it as a play, don’t you?”

By now, Qin Xuan had rushed to the full moon gates leading into the flower gardens, but was stopped from going any further by Shadowgale and Shadowrain, who held him back.


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  1. white lotus, green tea (白蓮花, 綠茶) – bailianhua, lü cha. A ‘white lotus’ is colloquial for an extremely two-faced woman, while ‘green tea’ refers to a girl who acts pitiful, innocent, and/or sickly/easily hurt/long-suffering in front of others just to toy with their feelings.
  2. equal wife (平妻) – pingqi, any wife after a man’s first (proper) wife that shares the same supposed status as his proper consort.