UPX Chapter 110

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Chapter 110: If you’re not a lunatic, then you’re a snake demon Original and most updated translations are from volare. If read elsewhere, this chapter has been stolen. Please stop supporting theft.

Ning Xiaoyao stared at Ning Xiaoluo’s face. No need to use knives? Then that means those doctors were looking for a face like Ning Xiaoluo’s. What does Grand Preceptor Xie need a face like that for? When she recalled the 70% similarity between both of their faces, she realized the answer for herself.

Ning Xiaoyao chuckled to herself. When she’d patted Ning Xiaoluo’s shoulder just then, she’d ascertained that he was male. Grand Preceptor Xie must be searching for a replacement to take my place.

“W-what’s up with my face?” Ning Xiaoluo’s hairs stood on end from Ning Xiaoyao’s stare.

“Do you still believe that the Grand Preceptor’s a good guy?” Ning Xiaoyao asked.

Ning Xiaoluo shook his head. Even Xie Anshi had shown up at the scene. If he still insisted that this had nothing to do with Grand Preceptor Xie, then he’d really be an idiot.

“Not bad,” Ning Xiaoyao said. “You haven’t gotten stupid to the point that you think Xie Anshi’s doing this behind his father’s back.”

Ning Xiaoluo gave a start at those words. “That sounds pretty logical too.”

If Ning Xiaoyao wasn’t worried about exposing themselves to the enemy, she would have thoroughly beat him up. Why are you soooo stupid?!

“Xiaoyao, you might as well let him die,” King Flower piped up. “Even if he keeps living, his idiocy will kill him sooner or later.”

Ning Xiaoluo watched King Flower as he hissed continuously and leaned against Ning Xiaoyao. “Does he want to bite me?”

Ning Xiaoyao sighed. A normal person like her couldn’t communicate with someone so mentally deficient. “Think back on what happened. What else did those people say to you?”

“Nothing,” Ning Xiaoluo replied.

“Think again!” Ning Xiaoyao shook her fist at him.

“Urk,” Ning Xiaoluo spent a long time thinking it over. “They also said stuff like how something was perfect, and that it’d gone to the Grand Preceptor’s estate. I, I didn’t really hear them clearly.” He had been scared to death, so he was in no mind to listen to those bastards talk.

“Tch,” Ning Xiaoyao clicked her tongue. He’s from a general’s family, too? Compared to Supreme Commander, he’s nothing.

“I, I want to leave,” Ning Xiaoluo said.

Ning Xiaoyao looked at Xie Anshi. Perfect, gone to the Grand Preceptor’s estate. These words, when combined together, held significant meaning. Had those heartless doctors actually succeeded in creating her doppelganger and sent him to the Grand Preceptor’s estate? Is that even possible? Ning Xiaoyao furrowed her eyebrows. She’d paid a visit to the Imperial Physician Courtyard once, but discovered that this world didn’t even have basic antibiotics. But plastic surgery? Are you kidding me?

Because Ning Xiaoyao had wrinkled her brows in deep thought, she looked rather expressionless and distant. Third Young Master Ning suddenly felt afraid to say another word. Instinct told him that his life might be in danger if he spoke up now. Eventually, Ning Xiaoyao hid her thoughts. I’ll take it slowly. If the Xie Clan wants to fight, then we’ll fight. There’s nothing scary about that. She rubbed the glistening scales on King Flower’s rain-drenched form and said, “Let’s go.”

King Flower nodded his head.

“………” said Third Young Master Ning. I wasn’t mistaken, he’s really talking to that snake!

Ning Xiaoyao dragged Ning Xiaoluo with her and left the compound in the blink of an eye. There wasn’t a single soul around this late at night as she shivered from the cold.

“Where are the people who came with you to the capital?” Ning Xiaoyao asked. Since this guy was the son of a duke, he wouldn’t have come alone.

Ning Xiaoluo’s head drooped. “They definitely went to ask the Grand Preceptor for help.”

Ning Xiaoyao spread her hands open. “Then it’s over, we’ve got no luck. Grand Preceptor Xie must have killed them to silence any witnesses.”

“I, I want to see for myself,” Ning Xiaoluo stammered.

“Oh, then take care of yourself. Goodbye,” Ning Xiaoyao said as she prepared to leave. If he wants to seek death, then there’s no reason for me to stop him.

“Huh?” Ning Xiaoluo saw that Ning Xiaoyao was leaving and panicked. He chased after her and cried, “Can you come with me?”

“I don’t have time,” Ning Xiaoyao replied.

“I’m from the Duke of Yue’s estate, ah!” Ning Xiaoluo emphasized.

Ning Xiaoyao said, “I wouldn’t have time even if you were part of the imperial clan.”

“I,” Ning Xiaoluo grit his teeth. “If you come with me, I’ll give you the Duke of Yue’s present for Grand Preceptor Xie.”

A profit! Ning Xiaoyao’s steps stilled. Ning Xiaoluo shot her a hopeful look. “Will that do?”

“That’s not right,” Oil Jar whispered in Ning Xiaoyao’s ear. “Xiaoyao, he was even captured by other people. Wouldn’t they have snatched Grand Preceptor Xie’s present from him as well?”

“That’s right,” Oil Lamp chimed in, “Xiaoyao, he must be trying to trick you!”

Motherf***ing– Ning Xiaoyao raised her fists. She’d almost been cheated by this doofus! Fortunately, Oil Jar and Oil Lamp were both sharp. (Author: Your IQ can’t even compare to two little mice. Your Majesty, aren’t you even a little ashamed? o(╯□╰)o)

“Let’s never see each other again,” Ning Xiaoyao told him.

Just then it was ‘goodbye,’ but now it’s ‘never see each other again?!’ Third Young Master Ning was shocked and reached out to grab her sleeve. In a loud voice, he demanded, “Why?”

“You were captured and your men all killed,” Ning Xiaoyao looked at him coldly. “Where do you think your family’s present is now?”

“I,” Ning Xiaoluo didn’t know what to say.

“Let go, or else I’ll beat you up,” Ning Xiaoyao pointed at Ning Xiaoluo’s fingers, which were still clutching her sleeves.

“But I, but I can’t go home,” Ning Xiaoluo had a death grip. He was very straightforward, with a straight face and a calm heart. “I don’t have any money.” He didn’t even have a single copper coin, so was he supposed to beg his way back to the Duke of Yue’s estate in Fengzhou?1

Ning Xiaoyao couldn’t believe him. “So now you even want to borrow money from me?”

Ning Xiaoluo said, “You’re a denizen of the jianghu that steals chickens and dogs to live everyday. What kind of prospects could your future hold? If you come back to Fengzhou with me, my father and elder brothers will give you a good future.” This guy came into the basement with a big bundle on his back, but didn’t want Xie Anshi to know he was there. If he’s not a thief, what else could he be? Third Young Master Ning felt he was rather insightful when it came to judging others.

“He’s so dumb,” Oil Jar said.

“Yeah, really stupid,” Oil Lamp seconded.

King Flower’s tongue flickered silently. He never spoke to humans who were idiots. Ning Xiaoyao didn’t want to talk to him either, because it was an insult to her intelligence. Instead, she raised her fist and gave the third young master of the Duke of Yue’s estate a thorough thrashing in the empty, rainy streets of night.

Ning Xiaoluo rolled around on the ground while clutching his head. He decided to forget any lifesaving debts he owed to this guy. As long as he could make it to Fengzhou in one piece, he’d make sure his father, mother, and brothers took revenge for him, ah!

“If you have any guts, then tell me your name!” Ning Xiaoluo shouted at Ning Xiaoyao.

“Name? I’ll let you talk about names!” Ning Xiaoyao said, before she struck his face. I can’t believe this doofus looks like me! What if people say I look like that idiot in the future? I’ll never accept it!

In the end, Ning Xiaoyao’s thrashing left Ning Xiaoluo in tears. He’d always been nurtured and protected by his family. Now as he rolled about in the rain, he wiped away his tears and cried, “Sobsobsob, don’t hit me.”

Is he still a man? Ning Xiaoyao couldn’t stand watching him whimper anymore, so she continued to punch him.

“I’m going to leave first,” King Flower had enough of watching the show. He slipped into a nearby water-logged depression and bid his farewells.

“Where are you planning to go?” Ning Xiaoyao asked.

“We’ll meet again, Xiaoyao,” King Flower replied.

“Alright. King Flower, you have to take care,” Ning Xiaoyao wasn’t the kind of person who forcibly kept her pals by her side. King Flower was strong enough to survive on his own, so she respected his choice. The giant snake twisted his body before disappearing into the gutter by the side of the road.

Ning Xiaoluo witnessed the entire exchange. He was sure the person before him now wasn’t crazy, so he must be a snake demon instead! Because of that, he asked Ning Xiaoyao outright.

“What the heck?” Ning Xiaoyao stopped beating him up in surprise.

“I don’t think you’re a lunatic,” Ning Xiaoluo said. “So are you a snake demon?”

Oil Jar and Oil Lamp covered their faces from their perch on the side of the street. Even mice like them were embarrassed by humans like him.

“Snake demon?! I’ll snake demon you!” Ning Xiaoyao continued to beat him up while Third Young Master Ning endured her blows.

By now, Supreme Commander Lou had brought along Shadowgale and about 20 other men on horseback to follow the little gyrfalcon here. Third Young Master Ning’s face was now so swollen that even his own parents wouldn’t be able to recognize him.

“Save, save me!” Ning Xiaoluo shouted towards Supreme Commander Lou, who’d gotten off his horse. That man doesn’t look like a monster.

“He called me a demon!” Ning Xiaoyao tattled.

Supreme Commander Lou looked at the pig-headed youth by his feet. Without a second thought, he lifted his leg and kicked him aside. His Majesty Ning felt greatly assuaged by the sight. “Supreme Commander, ah, why did you guys…” Ning Xiaoyao wanted to ask why they came here, before a set of outer robes hit her in the face, then wrapped around her body.

“Aren’t you cold?” Lou Zigui asked. He had taken off his own robes.

If His Majesty Ning had snuggled into Supreme Commander Lou’s embrace at this moment like a little bird seeking warmth and murmured in a soft tone, ‘Not anymore,’ the scenery against the night spring rain would be completely warm and romantic. Unfortunately, Ning Xiaoyao was a wet blanket who spoiled the mood with her reply.

“Ah? I’m not cold.”

Lou Zigui lowered his voice. “Why did you leave the palace on your own? What’s that on your back?”

“You guys,” Behind them, Ning Xiaoluo propped himself up as he shouted.

Clang clank clang. There was the sounds of swords unsheathing before the Dragon Guards rested their blades against Ning Xiaoluo’s neck. Third Young Master Ning immediately shut up, his lips pressed into a fine line.

“This jerk’s the third young master of the Duke of Yue’s estate,” Ning Xiaoyao told them unhappily. “He entered the city to give Grand Preceptor Xie a birthday gift, but the Grand Preceptor had him captured and nearly took his life. I saved him, but he came right back and cursed me as a demon!”

How could Shadowgale and the rest allow that kind of thing? Cursing His Majesty was already a death sentence, but this little brat had even repaid kindness with enmity?

“Beat him up!”

It was unknown which Dragon Guard raised the cry, but soon enough they were all punching and kicking Ning Xiaoluo. Lou Zigui rested his hand against his forehead. Was he the only one who heard Ning Xiaoyao say this was the third young master of the Duke of Yue’s estate?

“Alright already,” Supreme Commander Lou spoke up when it seemed like Ning Xiaoluo was about to expire.

Supreme Commander Lou hadn’t been very loud, but all of the Dragon Guards stopped. Third Young Master Ning remained sprawled on the ground, crying. Just who had he offended? The capital city was too frightening. He wanted to go home!

Lou Zigui asked Ning Xiaoyao, “Is he really the third young master of the Duke of Yue’s estate?”

“He said so himself,” Ning Xiaoyao replied.

“……..” said Lou Zigui. So you believed him?

Ning Xiaoyao smoothed out her sleeves. “Dangit, so that jerk was lying to me about that too?”

So, just how many times were you tricked? Lou Zigui pulled Ning Xiaoyao back before she went to beat up Ning Xiaoluo again. “I’ll go ask him.” They couldn’t beat up the guy anymore, or else he’d die.

“Don’t hit me,” Ning Xiaoluo sobbed as Lou Zigui drew near.

“This one is named Lou Zigui,” Supreme Commander Lou said as he looked at the boy. “You said you were from the Duke of Yue’s estate. Do you have any proof?”

“Lou Zigui?” Ning Xiaoluo rubbed his eyes. “You’re that Cuckoo Lou who doomed his entire family to death and curses anyone who meets you to die?”

“……….” said Ning Xiaoyao.

“………” said the Dragon Guards.

Oil Jar heaved a sigh at his elder cousin Oil Lamp. “I’ve never seen a human who seeks death as much as he does, squeak~”


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  1. Fengzhou (奉州) – Literally “State of Feng,” or “Feng State.” Feng means “esteem, revere.”