Ilya was kidnapped! She was taken away by an old lady who claimed Ilya was going to be her disciple! And Ilya willingly went with her after I refused! Mm, maybe kidnapped is the wrong term. I was robbed! Someone stole Ilya from me! She’s my friendly encyclopedia that knows the answer to everything, but she’s gone now. Hah. Well, there’s a new encyclopedia who knows more about the Immortal Continent than Ilya does, so maybe it’s not an overall loss?
“I’ll visit you often, so don’t make that face, Lucia.” Ilya sighed from the old lady’s side. She should be by my side instead! I’ll remember this, old lady! I might not know your name, address, position in the sect, or anything about you, but I’ll remember this!
“My grandmother will take good care of your friend. Please don’t stare at her like that,” Softie said. Softie is Soft Moonlight, but Soft is such an awkward name, and Moonlight is also such an awkward name, so I just call her Softie. She’s a big ol’ softie with lots of tears inside of her. It’s a fitting name.
After I planted an additional hundred thousand or so heart devils by thoroughly marking Softie as mine in front of the whole sect, the sect leader brought us to a mountain. According to him, only chosens of the sect are allowed to live on this mountain, and no one’s allowed to visit without the chosens’ or sect leader’s permission. That’s why I’m saying goodbye to Ilya here.
“Do get along with each other now,” the sect leader said. He patted Softie’s shoulder. “Take her to the impurity-cleansing pool when you have the chance. I have to accommodate the elders from the other sects for the cultural exchange.”
“Grandfather….” Softie had tears in her eyes. I knew her name was fitting. “Y-you’re going to leave me alone with, with her? Are we even related? How could you do this to me?”
Oi. What’s wrong with being left alone with me, huh? Huh? I’m a very friendly person. Everyone tells me I’m nice, and if everyone thinks it, then it can’t be wrong! Besides, we’re not really alone. Durandal and Puppers are here too.
“I’ll see you soon, Lucia,” Ilya said and waved. Then the old lady by her side smiled and nodded at me before grabbing onto Ilya and disappearing. She didn’t even give me a chance to say goodbye. What if I never see Ilya again? That’d be so sad. Two friends parting without a proper farewell. Ah. I hope Ilya won’t be too miserable without me around.
Once Ilya and the thief were gone, the sect leader disappeared as well. It’s just me and Softie now. Softie’s supposed to be my guide in the sect. Softie’s shoulders shrank back as she lowered her head and looked up at me. “U-um, are you tired after your journey? Shall I show you the residences, Sister Lucia?”
“Just call me Lucia.” All these sister and brother and elder and grandpa titles are so annoying to deal with.
“Eh? Are you sure? How about Chosen Lucia?”
“Lucia!” I’m going to smack her.
“Y-yes! Lucia! Y-you can call me Sister Moonlight or—”
“I’m going to call you Softie from now on, okay, Softie?” She’s a bit slow, isn’t she? Mm, but that’s okay. I’m used to slow people. For some reason, it takes a long time for most people to understand what I’m saying.
“Isn’t that a pet’s name…?” Did she have a problem with my naming sense? “Hiih! Softie it is! I like the name Softie a lot!”
Mm, that’s better. It looks like Durandal’s intimidation tactics work perfectly in the Immortal Continent. “What was that about residences?” The place that they’re going to let me stay is bound to be filled with riches and luxuries, right? That’s the whole point of being a chosen. We get special treatment. And judging by their simple transportation vehicles, a giant flying boat, their architectural standards are really high! I’m looking forward to this.
“R-right, I’ll show you the way,” Softie said. She couldn’t look me in the eyes. Was she waddling? Why was she waddling? She probably peed her panties, huh? Oops.
This mountain looks like … a regular mountain. There’s trees, grass, dirt, rocks, an evil waterfall that’s threatening to claim my soul, and a deadly river with some monstrous creatures that Softie calls koi. And there are absolutely no signs of any residences. I’m not being cheated, right? This isn’t some sort of elaborate scam to harvest my organs? Well, it’s not like I have any valuables organ to harvest anyways since I don’t have a penis. Just like Softie.
“Lucia? Hello?” Softie’s voice was really soft. One day, she won’t be so nervous around me. “Is something wrong?”
“No. What’s up?” Why’d we stop? We reached halfway up the mountain, but there still aren’t any buildings in sight. There’s only a few holes dug into the ground, but since the mountain’s sloped, maybe it’s more appropriate to call them caves?
“We’re here. You can pick any residence you’d like.” Softie bit her lower lip and stared at me with wet eyes. They were pleading, trying to tell me to do something. But what the heck am I supposed to do in this situation? Don’t tell me the buildings are invisible.
Softie bit her lower lip and pointed at the caves. “There.”
“…Is this a joke?” I know I’m a squirrel, but I don’t actually live in a burrow! I’m being racially profiled! I thought people didn’t know about squirrels on the Immortal Continent. Wait, no, foxes live in burrows too, but still, this is wrong! “I’m more human than fox, damnit. I’m not going to live in a hole!”
“S-sorry! Please don’t hurt me!” Softie covered her head and crouched down. She was shaking a lot. Hah. Why is she so timid? Isn’t she supposed to be a chosen? I almost feel bad for her. She’s a sheltered princess who’s lived all alone and was spoiled by her grandparents. No wonder why she hasn’t face any hardships. Me being mean to her is for her own good! She has to toughen up or she’ll be bullied by someone even worse than me one day. And I’m not even trying to act scary. Jeez.
“Alright. How about this. Take me to where you live, alright?” I don’t know if the sect leader told her to bring me here because he thought a foxkin would like living in burrows, but I can’t live in a cave. There’s not even a door for privacy!
“O-okay,” Softie said. She sniffled and walked forward before looking behind herself to make sure I was following, which I was. Then she walked up to one of the caves. “I live here. Um, would you like to come inside?”
Maybe I’m missing something here. There’s surely another dimension inside of these caves, right? Like a personal pocket realm! That must be it. I poked my head into the cave and saw a beautiful world made of … dirt. And a dirty red carpet with a pillow. I’ve been scammed. This isn’t a rich place at all!