TGL Volume 2, Chapter 24 (1)

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I finally got to vent all my built-up frustrations! It would’ve been a lot more pleasant if Durandal wasn’t crying, but he fainted after the thirtieth time or so. Turning into a sky-realm expert really boosted his stamina! And he once told me weapon spirits couldn’t sleep. Psh, look at him now! He’s like a dead fish that occasionally whimpers. Anyways! Now I can…. Uh, do I have a goal now? I thought I needed to get stronger to force Durandal to submit, but I can just abuse the Despairing Blade. Hmm. Right! Ilya has to make Durandal virile! Let’s store Durandal inside of new-mini-DalDal and back to the deck I go. I hope Softie managed to comfort everyone. Their crying made me feel so awkward.

“Lucia, w-welcome back,” Softie said the instant I appeared on deck through teleportation. Her face was bright red. Was she still thinking about that kiss? I hope not. That kiss wasn’t a one-time thing, right? I have to kiss her after every meal to reduce my impurities to get stronger faster to subdue Durandal…. Eh, I guess I don’t need to do that anymore, huh?

“Where’s everyone else?” Oh! We’re back in the Shadow Devil Sect. How much time has passed? Mm. Well, that doesn’t matter! In the Shadow Devil Sect, I can finally do whatever the heck I want and be praised for doing it! I can eat aurochsen or running fish and everyone watching will think I’m amazing! Being a chosen is great. I don’t get why Softie didn’t abuse her status more often, sheesh. She can live such a good life, but she lives in a cave.

“They went to report to the sect first,” Softie said. “I also had them tell my grandfather that you were looking to bathe in the impurity-cleansing pool. He’s setting up certain measures to prevent the pool from being contaminated again.”

Right…. In my fit of madness, I did tell Softie I wanted to bathe in the impurity-cleansing pool…. But I don’t need to do that now! Honestly, there’s absolutely no reason for me to work hard or get stronger at all now. If anyone as scary as the crown prince tries to kill me, I’ll have Durandal beat them up! And if Durandal tries to bully me, I’ll make him despair. Hmm? What will I do if an immortal tries to kill me? Hah! That won’t happen because I’ll be spending my days in luxury without provoking anyone!

“Junior Lucia! Welcome back.” Ooh, that’s a familiar voice. Like I thought, it’s Softie’s grandfather. “I’ve set up the perfect system to cleanse you of impurities. You’ll sit atop a mountain, and we’ll pour the impurity-cleansing liquid over you. The impurities will be flushed away, and the impurity-cleansing pool will remain unsullied. How does that sound?”

Even though he calls it impurity-cleansing liquid, I know it’s actually fish pee. But if it washes away my impurities, wouldn’t it count as clean fish pee? Hmm. Eh, it doesn’t matter, I guess…. And this method sounds acceptable. There’s no reason for me not to accept even though I don’t need to grow stronger. But there’s just one thing…. “You’ll pour it over me slowly, right? Like one bucket at a time?” If they poured the whole pool on top of me at once, then it’ll be the same thing as drowning me!

“Yes, of course,” Softie’s grandfather said and nodded. He stroked his beard. “I’ve taken your strange phobia of water into consideration.”

It’s not a phobia! It’s a justified fear! Phobias are exaggerated and irrational fears. But fearing water is completely rational! If you drink too much of it, you can die. If you drink too little of it, you can die. You can drown in it. You can choke on it. Heck, you can slip on it and crack your head open and boop! You’re dead. Right. It’s not a phobia. “Okay. When do we start? Now? Yeah, let’s start now.” I need a bath after all that strenuous activity with Durandal.

“We can get started right away. Follow me,” Softie’s grandfather said and floated into the air.

Why didn’t he just command the boat? Mm. Well, I can do that. I went to the steering wheel and had the boat take off after Softie’s grandfather. A few minutes later, we ended up at a mountaintop … that was occupied by a ton of people. These people aren’t all here to watch me bathe, right? At least they’re all women, so I guess it’s not too bad. It’s still weird though! “Why are there so many people?”

Softie’s grandfather cleared his throat as he stopped and landed on the ground. “They’re here to make sure nothing happens. Don’t pay them any mind.”

That’s easy for you to say! You’re not the one stripping in front of all of them! Ah, I guess I can wear a towel. Mm, right. That’ll work. “You’re not thinking of watching, are you?”

Softie’s grandfather stiffened and took a step back. Good, Durandal’s glare worked. “Of course not,” Softie’s grandfather said and took another step back. “You’ve certainly gotten a lot stronger since the last time we’ve met.” He cleared his throat. “Enjoy your cleansing; I’ll be making sure no one comes to interfere.” Then he flew up into the sky and disappeared somewhere to the east. At least, I think that’s the east. Softie said the sun rose from the north, right?

“Chosen Fluffytail, please, change into these robes before we begin. They’re made out of impurity-cleansing fish scales. The effects of the impurity-cleansing water will be greatly amplified while wearing these.”

A sect member handed me some transparent robes. Why were they transparent? Were they even robes? I can feel something in my hands…, but I can’t see it clearly. It makes sense since those fishies were invisible too. I stripped off my clothes and put on the robes. At least, I think I put them on correctly. “Alright. Now what?”

“Stand over here, so the impurities will flow down in that direction.”

The sect member guided me to the edge of the mountain. It was really an edge because the mountain was actually like half a mountain. Like someone had taken a normal mountain and cut it in half, leaving a giant vertical cliff on one side. At the bottom of the cliff, there was an empty basin for the liquid to flow into. They really were pre—pared!? “Gah! You should’ve told me you were going to start!” I didn’t get to take my socks off! There we go. Mm, I’ll leave them to the side since I shouldn’t store Puppers in an interspacial space.

But the fish pee is cold, dammit! I mean, I guess it’s better than it being warm. If the liquid was warm, then that’d mean it came fresh out of the fish! Wait. Is it better to bathe in fresh fish pee or stale fish pee? I should really stop thinking of it as fish pee because I think I got some in my mouth. It tastes kind of salty. Blech.

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