SWFM 298

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Chapter 298: Never meeting again

 

Tang Yufei had actually been spot on in quite a number of things.

For example, Apple. Xu Tingsheng had been alone with her the longest before. The two of them also shared the closest relationship. This meant that it was most possible for something to have happened between the two of them. Yet, in reality…nothing had happened.

There had virtually been not a single situation of this kind at all.

Xu Tingsheng had been unable to resist Li Wan’er and had also acted inappropriately with Lu Zhixin before. Yet, he had just not done anything towards Apple with whom he was the closest.

The reason was actually just like Tang Yufei had said. The responsibility was too great. He was afraid of it, so afraid of it that he couldn’t think of anything else. If Xu Tingsheng had laid a hand on Apple, he would surely marry her…

He would accompany and protect her during her most difficult times. Yet, he was still not ready to completely accept this weighty responsibility.

Therefore, separated by distance, Xu Tingsheng could think whatever he liked about Apple, with her even having appeared in his dreams before. Yet, when they were together, he would restrict himself carefully to the point that he was virtually able to act completely naturally, without much rashness at all.

It was similar for Wu Yuewei.

Of course, the interactions between the two were just as pure as they had been back in junior high. Nothing remotely questionable had ever occurred between them.

If something like that really did happen, the answer would be the same as for Apple. He would be afraid, would restrict himself. Things were the same for this girl as well. If he laid a hand on her, he would have to marry her. He would marry her.

As for Lu Zhixin, she was different from Apple and Wu Yuewei.

For Apple and Wu Yuewei, if Xu Tingsheng were really to request it of them, they would give it to him. As for Lu Zhixin, she was independent and clear-headed. She was actually better than he was at controlling the situation.

Thus, Xu Tingsheng would occasionally dare to let loose the reins on himself and mess around with her without reservation, feeling assured in the knowledge that nothing would happen. Even if something were to happen, it would probably be her stomping him dead or calling the police…

As for Li Wan’er, hers was the most unique case.

If not for her having said that line back then, he would already have been unable to hold himself back…it could be said that Xu Tingsheng had a mindset that many other men had. Facing Li Wan’er at the time, he had virtually not thought about the concept of responsibility at all.

She had experience, had been married before. With that, the mental burden on him was much lower.

Also, it could not be denied that in terms of age and various other aspects too, Li Wan’er was really the most alluring one amongst all the women Xu Tingsheng had met, the one who most induced him into committing a crime.

Xu Tingsheng was able to resist those he thought to be young girls, but it was very difficult for him to resist Li Wan’er.

Li Wan’er had actually used this word very accurately: Bully.

Li Wan’er had said, “Bully me, Xu Tingsheng. Bully me however you like.”

Just these words alone were enough to cause Xu Tingsheng’s blood vessels to swell…

Coupled with her expression and tone…

And that satin-like material of the clothes she was wearing…

Her cousin’s taste was actually rather bad. The special underwear that she had chosen were very base indeed. Yet, some articles of clothing were actually more crime-inducing the baser they were. At times like this, who would care about intricacy, elegance? The baser the better.

Such ‘base’ clothing, worn by the elegant, gentle Li Wan’er who was akin to a descended goddess…

There was an incomparably vast discrepancy between Li Wan’er’s expression and what she was wearing.

She looked embarrassed, on tenterhooks, distressed, also bearing a humiliated feeling of accepting whatever was forced upon her as the tear stains on her face had still yet to dry…

Her clothing was beguiling, lascivious, shameless…

If this had happened half a month ago, Xu Tingsheng would not have hesitated any further at all. It was not that he would not be intending to accept any responsibility whatsoever. It was just that it would not be this serious at the end of the day…

However, this half a month had seen the occurrence of the greatest, most blissful event of Xu Tingsheng’s life ever since his rebirth. He knew how Little Xiang Ning thought about him now. His Xiang Ning was going to come back.

As for Apple, she seemed to have completely walked out of the shadow of depression.

Xu Tingsheng was currently making preparations for welcoming Xiang Ning back to his side.
……

Li Wan’er leaned rather dazedly against the bed, looking at Xu Tingsheng who was leaning back against the head of the bed and breathing deeply in and out, in and out.

She finally took that blanket and covered her own body.

Li Wan’er had used up all her courage.

It was actually two people that she had to face and resist. One was Xu Tingsheng, in front of whom she had to discard her self-respect and shyness. The other was she herself, the she of back then who had persisted in her original stance of being unable to accept actions like these.

Another voice inside her, the voice of her original stance, was already resounding lightly, talking about her, rebuking her, “What are you doing, Li Wan’er? Utterly shameless…”

“Am I being utterly shameless? …But I really like him, and he’s going to leave. I want to fight for something for myself for once, and if it’s wrong, then so be it,” Li Wan’er defended herself thus.

Only she herself was well aware that if the alternative was letting this person before her go just like that, with them having no further contact at all in the future, she would really rather…end up the subject of society’s endless scorn.

Had Xu Tingsheng not been going to leave, had she not seen that plane ticket, also considering her mental preparation from the previous experiences between them, including that time where something had nearly happened…it would have been totally impossible for Li Wan’er to do this.

She was a reserved, mild, even overly modest woman who was used to living as such.

Having lived a mild life for so many years, even holding herself back already come completely naturally to her.

Perhaps there was also another reason, which was her cousin. Those things she had taught Li Wan’er caused her to blush every time she thought about them with her heart pounding as she was filled with embarrassment.

Yet, Li Wan’er had seen with her own eyes how her cousin’s husband was so obedient and loyal and loving towards her, even to the very extent of ‘lowering his head and bending his knee’. Her cousin told her that she had won all this on the bed, that in having done so, she had…enthralled his heart completely, making him unable to leave her.

Li Wan’er dared not hope for Xu Tingsheng to be so good to her. Still, she wanted to fight for it too and had no other way around it.

Hearing her sobs, Xu Tingsheng turned to look at her.

“Last time, you…now, is it that you don’t like me anymore, or are you angry with me…or do you disdain that I was married before and am impure?” Li Wan’er drew the blanket up to as high as her neck, grabbing it tightly with both hands as she asked with a difficult expression on her face.

Xu Tingsheng went over, bent down and helped her to wipe off her tears, “No, you’re the most enchanting woman I’ve ever met. You already saw how I reacted last time, and just now too…”

He smiled awkwardly after he had said this.

Li Wan’er said, “Yes, but then why…”

“You tell me why first, why you suddenly…you clearly said it earlier tonight. You definitely won’t be anyone’s lover,” Xu Tingsheng said.

“I,” Li Wan’er hesitated for a while before she said, “I won’t be a lover. Actually, actually…I was thinking that if I could give birth to a child for you, I would be able to keep you by my side then. I won’t be a lover, I want to be your wife.”

LI Wan’er spoke frankly just like that. She was truly so far away from a scheming person indeed.

Xu Tingsheng forced a smile, not knowing what he should say to that.

Li Wan’er said, “It’s your turn.”

Xu Tingsheng said, “Do you remember how I told you that I once forsook the person who is the most precious to me? She…”

Li Wan’er asked, “She’s back?”

Xu Tingsheng replied, “Yes, almost.”

Li Wan’er appeared slightly dejected for a time before she clenched her teeth, seemingly having made a very major decision as she shifted to the side of the bed and asked, “Can you lie down? Since you’ve said this already, definitely nothing will happen between us. I just want to…lie over beside you for a while. I’ve never before.”

Looking at her eyes, hearing her say ‘I’ve never before’, Xu Tingsheng who had originally been going to refuse instead felt a little hesitant now.

Li Wan’er shifted further inwards before making a boundary at the centre of that blanket, saying, “Like this…separated. Not touching.”

Xu Tingsheng nodded, lay down and got under the blanket.

The two talked for a while.

Xu Tingsheng soon regretted it. He had overestimated himself. For some reason, Li Wan’er was not lying on her side like she had said. Instead, she leaned into his embrace. Separated by just that thin layer of satin…she leaned in against him.

“I fooled you up here,” Despite her awkwardness, a bit of triumph could clearly be heard in Li Wan’er’s tone, rather like a usually obedient student who suddenly skipped a lesson one day and even lied to the teacher.

Now, she extended a hand into Xu Tingsheng’s pyjamas, her slender fingers brushing over his chest.

“I thought you were thin. How is it that your body’s…so fit,” Came in a voice close to a murmur.

Xu Tingsheng was virtually about to implode as he managed, “Hey, Wan’er, I’ve just told you about my situation, and you have also said that you definitely won’t be anyone’s lover, right?”

Li Wan’er said, “Right.”

Xu Tingsheng said, “So, it’s not worth it! Even if you really did give birth to my child, it still…”

Li Wan’er shook her head, interrupting him, “I know. But I’ve changed my mind. What I want now is a child, our child. I won’t make use of him to fight for anything…and I also won’t be your lover. I won’t see you again in the future.”

Xu Tingsheng was flummoxed, “Huh?”

Li Wan’er said resolutely, “I won’t be marrying again. I just want a child, Xu Tingsheng, our child. I will bring him up and he will accompany me, just him and me. You don’t have to care about us. I won’t be lonely that way, and living would be meaningful then. I can take care of him myself. We will definitely live very happily, very well. You can just take it like we don’t exist. We will never meet again.”

A child of his own blood-Xu Tingsheng was actually affected incomparably greatly as he heard Li Wan’er saying this, because of his two lives, because of his past experiences, because of his mental age, because he actually liked kids so much.

If he were to wait for Xiang Ning…it might be another ten years.

Actually, it might be even longer than that. If things went like they had in his previous life, Xiang Ning would not consider giving birth until she turned twenty-nine. She said that she herself was still like a child.

As for Xu Tingsheng, he definitely dared not force her against her will.

Li Wan’er continued, “He or she will definitely look very nice, because you look so good, and I, too. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a boy or a girl. Xu Tingsheng, can you please give me a child.”

With that, Li Wan’er looked at Xu Tingsheng without shrinking back in the least, her gaze fervent and pleading and not shifting in the least. This was a rare instance of boldness from her indeed.

Her slender hand travelled about Xu Tingsheng’s body.

Xu Tingsheng’s throat felt dry. He was struggling, hesitating. It was physical whilst also mental too.

“If we really do have a child, it would be impossible for me not to meet him, not to care about him,” Xu Tingsheng said conflictedly.

“You meet the child then. You come, I’ll go…I won’t bother you. We’ll never meet again,” Li Wan’er said.

“That’s impossible. I actually like you too. I won’t deny that.”

“Yes, I know. I’m very happy. If I were five, ten years younger and never been married, however good she is, I definitely wouldn’t give up just like that. But I’m thirty-one now, Xu Tingsheng. I don’t want to be alone for ten, twenty more years, all the way till I grow old and die. I’ve only ever liked you before, and I definitely won’t be marrying anyone else…give me a child.”


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