The soul collectors took me to the nether world. I must’ve escaped the next six lifetimes. I sighed a long sigh. I want to laugh out loudly, but I don’t know why I couldn’t laugh at all. My lips still have the taste of Lu Hai Kong’s lips, making my heart sour.
He is still alive. In my life, there will be no little fool called Lu Hai Kong anymore.
I looked back at the road to the netherworld. A feeling of loss came over me.
“Hurry up! Hurry up! Why are you so slow?! What tricks are you playing,” a ghost yelled with his tiny voice. He stared very alert at me.
I pouted: “Why are you so impatient? This time I will obediently drink the soup of oblivion.”
Temporarily forgetting these feelings is also a good thing.
That brat heard my words and laughed coldly: “Soup of oblivion? You still want to be reincarnated? First stay obediently for eight or ten years in the netherworld to pay for your sins, then we can talk.”
I asked: “Pay for what?”
The little ghost leads me deeper into the netherworld, but we’re not going into the direction of the bridge (where souls wait for their turn to drink the soup of oblivion and cross over the bridge to be reincarnated).
I suddenly tensed up and was nervous. Could they be dragging me to the pan?
The heaven and earth saw that I haven’t committed any serious crime, ah!
I was still lost in thoughts when the little ghost said: “Last time you and that celestial star Chu Kong caused a mess in the netherworld. Madam Meng took a leave of three thousand years. The netherworld already doesn’t have enough manpower. Now because of you it has less manpower. We’ve wasted a lot of time. That celestial star Chu Kong was polite. He obediently stayed here for five years to atone for his sins. But you, you just turned your butt and went to reincarnate. Humph, humph, the netherworld doesn’t bother with the human world, but now that you’ve come back, we won’t go easy on you!”
I swallowed. How could I have forgotten that time?
The netherworld has many duties and they want to punish someone. Even if I have a thousand of lifetimes on me, I still need to suffer this punishment before I can go.
This this…this delay. If I get punished till Lu Hai Kong died, then would I need to be reincarnated with him again?
While I was still loss in thoughts, the little ghost led me to Yanwang’s1 palace.
“Yanwang, the cloud fairy has been brought.”
After the little ghost finished speaking, there was no reply. I looked up and saw two feet placed on top of a desk. Behind the desk, there was a man in black sitting on a chair. His face was covered with a book. He was in a deep sleep.
The little ghost shouted again: “Yanwang! The cloud fairy has been brought!”
The man in the chair moved. The book on his face fell on the ground with a “pa” sound.
“Ah…en. Good, good.”
He put his legs down, wiped his mouth and sat up. He turned a page of a book on the messy desk. With eyes still full of sleep, he asked: “Ah, that, what fairy? What crime did the fairy commit?”
My mouth twitched. Is this really the renowned Yanwang? He must be a replacement. He looks like a white dough and his behaviour is like a wretched uncle. The magistrate beside him helplessly sighed.
“Is the cloud fairy, who caused a disruption in the netherworld twenty years ago.”
“Oh,” Yanwang’s eyes lit up. “It’s you, ah?! You did well, girl. The netherworld was very lively then. It was very amusing! Haha…”
The magistrate next to him coughed. Yanwang pressed his lips together to refrain from laughing and said with a serious look: “Well, what do you think we should do, magistrate?”
“Twenty years ago, celestial star Chu Kong was punished for five years, but cloud fairy Xiang Zi went to reincarnate and fled to the human realm. That’s a really evil thing to do, so I think her punishment should be tripled. I ask Yanwang to make her work for fifteen years in the netherworld. This will also let the ghosts know that the netherworld is a strict place. Even a light mistake will receive a heavy punishment.”
Yanwang nodded: “Good, let’s do it as you say.”
After saying that he went back to sleep in his chair.
They decided this sentence as easy as choosing what to eat at noon: scrambled eggs or fried eggs.
Out of Yanwang’s palace, the little ghost took me to the bridge. Ghosts are still standing in a neat line as in the past. The little ghost pointed at the big pan and said: “In the future, you’ll replace madam Meng at making soup. Don’t let the soup fall over the pan. After fifteen years of making soup, you can go and be reincarnated.”
I thought for a while and felt that fifteen years is not a very long time. Chu Kong needs to live for at least fifteen years. I felt relieved at that thought, picked up the spoon and began making soup.
In the netherworld, there’s no day or night. It’s always dark here. From where I make soup I can see the people coming down from the reincarnated circle. All kinds of people come here, but they all have the same desolated look. At first when I saw them like that I feel for them. Over time I turned numb to those faces. Whether they’re sad, crying or laughing, I would only remind them when they’re distracted with a few words: “Stand in the line. Here’s your soup.”
Without knowing it, twelve years have passed. Seeing that I only have three years left, I proudly kept my head high and continued to make soup. But fate played a big joke on me.
In the gloomy days, as usual, at the other end of the reincarnation circle, appeared a really familiar figure. I was stunned for a moment that the spoon fell into the pot. I pointed my trembling finger at him in disbelief.
“Lu Hai Kong!”
Originally, I thought that I’ll never see him again. Originally, I thought that we broke our next six lifetimes together…
I said in distraught: “I calculated everything but didn’t count that you’ll have a short life!”
The netherworld is a quiet place. Everyone can hear me sighing through gritted teeth. The ghosts look at me blankly. Lu Hai Kong on the other side of the road also hesitates for a moment. His gaze fell onto me. After the moment of hesitation, his eyes squint dangerously and he walked towards me. The speed is very fast. A bad feeling comes over me.
Now that this guy is in the netherworld, he has all his memories back. He’s no longer the Lu Hai Kong who loved me dearly, but one of the twelve celestial stars Chu Kong. Even if he remembered his experience as Lu Hai Kong, in his eyes that’s just one episode of his life. In today’s Chu Kong’s eyes, I’m a madman who has bitten his shoulders, fought with him and scratched him. A shrew who didn’t care about face and will fight with him regardless. The jinx who framed him and let him be punished for five years in the netherworld. Now he must want to cut me into pieces.
My heart felt a little guilty, but he obviously provoked me first to do those things. I was only protecting myself. Besides, I was so bighearted to rescue him and let him live in happiness for so many more years. He should be owing me a favor and be grateful to me.
I haven’t finished comforting myself when I saw Chu Kong pull out a red whip. Aside from the loud shout, he didn’t say anything and threw the whip in my direction. I was stunned. Looking at his face, which is the same as Lu Hai Kong’s face, my legs wouldn’t move.
The whip grazed my neck. The burning pain brought me back to reality. I touched my neck. There was blood on my fingers. The whip must’ve cut my skin open. I lifted my head and looked at Chu Kong. Chu Kong was a little surprised when he saw that he really hit me.
He frowned and shouted: “Are you an idiot? Such a slow whip and you couldn’t dodge it?”
I also frowned: “You hit me and yet you dare to shout at me?”
“Who…Who knows you couldn’t dodge it.”
Indeed, I could’ve dodged the whip. The one I couldn’t dodge is Lu Hai Kong.
I walked to him. I didn’t care if I could beat Chu Kong, I just grabbed his sleeve and said: “You, short-lived ghost, it’s a waste of my life to save you.”
Chu Kong was stunned for a moment, frowned and said fiercely: “Who wants you to save me?!”
He paused for a moment. A strange emotion came into his eyes and then it turned into anger.
“You actually still dare to mention that lifetime to me! How dare you…”
He choked: “How dare you let me…”
He couldn’t continue to say a thing for a while, so I said: “I was thinking that we wouldn’t have to see each other again after this lifetime. You didn’t live a long life. Wasting all my efforts. How could you die?”
I suddenly remembered what Lu Hai Kong said when I died. I shouted angrily: “Very good, no wonder when I was dying you said that we’ll meet again in the next lifetime and next next lifetime! You are fucking putting a curse on me! You wicked man!”
Chu Kong’s face paled. He also grabbed my sleeve and said: “You’ve come to the netherworld for many years and you didn’t go to reincarnate! It’s obviously you who have an ulterior motive. You also want to be entangled with me in the next lifetime! You, insidious woman!”
I pointed at the pan full of soup and said: “Boiling soup for more than ten years is called insidious?! If you, little son of a bitch, didn’t cause a mess in the netherworld, do I need to suffer this punishment?!”
“I caused a mess in the netherworld?”
At the mention of that, Chu Kong got angrier. His loud tone of voice changed to a scary soft voice: “I innocently did five years of hard labor. In the end, you dare to say that it’s my fault! Soup of oblivion… you still dare to mention soup of oblivion?!”
The grip on my hand tightened. I only felt my hand turn numb.
I panicked and exclaimed: “What do you want to do?! What do you want to do?!”
Chu Kong dragged me to the bridge. While he was dragging me he picked a bowl of soup. The ghost around us feared the aura Chu Kong is emitting.
After the twenty years, the netherworld is in chaos again.
Chu Kong grabbed my jaw and forced my mouth open. He smiled coldly and poured the soup into my mouth: “In the past lifetime you escaped before drinking, making me live a bleak and desolate life. In this lifetime, you can’t escape.”
His power is on a higher level than mine. I couldn’t move even the slightest bit. I could only make bubbles in my mouth and spit the soup out of my mouth.
Chu Kong seemed to be obsessed with making me drink soup. The more I spit, the more he poured. I drank bowl after bowl.
“This will make up for what you did the past lifetime. This lifetime, don’t even try to escape!”
While I was gulping the soup down, I severely scolded him. Now I wish that I was trained in any kind of arts. Something that can make the person before my eyes suffer. Something that’ll crush the enemies’ bones, crushing them till they’re powders!
I don’t know how many bowls of soup I’ve drunken. I heard the distant shouting voice of the magistrate. Chu Kong flew over the bridge and went into the reincarnation circle.
This…this little bastard! He dares to copy me!
He remembers! He has all the memories! How dreary will my next life be?!
This is still nothing. The real bad news is when the panicked magistrate said: “Hurry! Lift the cloud fairy! Drinking too much soup of oblivion will let her become an idiot after reincarnation!”
I lay on the ground and burped with an awkward face. I just want to call some beautiful girls to have them do beautiful campaign.
I was thinking when translating this that she can just keep her mouth shut. If she did that Chu Kong would’ve probably forgiven her. Silly her.
- Yanwang (King Yan) is the god of death. Yanwang is not only the ruler but also the judge of the underworld and passes judgment on all the dead.
- She’s playing again with words. 卧槽，尼玛 (Wò cáo, ní mǎ) it sounds like “I fuck your mother.”
The netherworld has the same time as the human world. One year in the netherworld is one year in the human world. While one year in the human world or netherworld is one day in heaven.