PAH Chapter 66

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Glossary


Chapter 66: Hottest TopicOriginal and most updated translations are on volare. If this is being found anywhere else, it has been stolen. Don’t support theft. 🙂

After Tang Doudou spoke, Young Master Qi looked towards Baili Yu questioningly. Baili Yu didn’t show any reaction, so he could only continue narrating in full detail while being unsure of the situation. “The business is actually fine. The problem is with Cloud Manor.”

Tang Doudou shot Baili Yu a look that said, ‘I’ve already lured out the topic for you, you still don’t know what to say?’

Baili Yu, who had opened his eyes at some unknown time, naturally noticed all her small motions. The corners of his mouth hooked but he didn’t say anything.

The room was silent for a while. Just as Young Master Qi felt completely confused on how to proceed, Tang Doudou finally realized what Baili Yu, this fox, was doing. He was actually pushing the boat with the current and wanted her to continue asking.

Frick! As she looked at Baili Yu’s partially smiling expression, Tang Doudou really wanted to viciously chomp him a couple times to vent the bitterness in her heart. Da fudge! Couldn’t he be just a bit dumber?

All she did was say one sentence and he had already guessed her intentions, then responded immediately with a counterattack.

Fighting with schemes against this type of fox is really tiring!

Tang Doudou scratched her head, vexed. The fact that she helped bring up the topic for Baili Yu earlier was certainly not for the sake of helping him. She had been planning to scheme him to freaking hell after things developed a bit. Who would have expected that he had been able to guess her intentions without even needing to glance at her?

With this sort of disparity, how’s one supposed to keep playing?

And so, Tang Doudou ignored Young Master Qi as well and stood up. After patting off the dust in the front of her clothes, she said, “I have some business so I’ll leave first. You guys take your time!”

With that, she started walking towards the door.

Unexpectedly, just as she pushed open the door and was about to walk out, Baili Yu was driven by some damned northwest wind that came from some unknown door to give a cold faint remark. “Xueyi, remember to prepare the things for the wedding ceremony properly after you return to the Alliance Head Residence. The marriage of the grand Alliance Head can’t be too casual.”

Upon hearing this, Tang Doudou stumbled and almost tripped over the doorstep. She hastily reached out to grab the door. Freaking meow! When will he freaking stop!?

Young Master Qi was at a loss. Li Xueyi was about to get married?

With who? Why hadn’t he ever heard of it? And why would Baili Yu care so much about this wedding? Could it be that Li Xueyi was marrying someone from the Heng Xuan Chamber of Commerce?

But he knew pretty much all the members of the Heng Xuan Chamber of Commerce. There was no girl suitable for Li Xueyi ah!

Just as he was completely confused even after pondering a hundred scenarios, the sound of Tang Doudou speaking while gritting her teeth arrived at his ears. “The Alliance Head Residence can’t match up to the Heng Xuan Chamber of Commerce. The marriage will simply have to be simple. I’m afraid I’ll have to ask Baili gongzi to suffer grievances!”

“Haa, even if it’s simple, it’s fine. Since you like it that way, then I’ll comply,” Baili Yu replied with a chuckle.

If Young Master Qi couldn’t pick out that clue this time around, then he was a thorough fool from head to toe.

By the time the main problem occurred to him, he was already shocked to the point he was speechless. He looked at Tang Doudou, then at Baili Yu, a stupefied expression on his face. Weren’t these two both men?

Could it be that he hadn’t woken up and was still dreaming?

Or was it that everything in front of him right now was a hallucination?

Heavens ah, who can explain to him what exactly was happening?

Li Xueyi is going to marry Baili Yu!

Three months later, the Alliance Head, Li Xueyi, of the martial arts circles, is going to take the extremely beautiful, rich, and influential Baili Yu, who’s a seductive yao from head to toe, as a wife!

The day Tang Doudou returned to the Alliance Head Residence, this matter exploded in the realm and caused ten thousand enormous ripples. It could be said to be the hottest topic of the current dynasty that everyone focused their attention on. In tea shops and restaurants, neighborhoods everywhere were discussing this matter.

What was even more momentous was the fact that the entrance of the Alliance Head Residence had not opened once since this information was spread out. From that day on, the faces of the guards of the entrance, Li Hong and Xu Tao, became bitter melons. Every day and night there would be countless numbers of women standing outside. There were even quite a lot with bigger guts who would climb the wall in an attempt to enter. Their goal was to have a showdown with Tang Doudou.

That never ending pounding on the door was enough to drive a person to develop an anxiety disorder. They didn’t know whose families these ladies came from either. They banged on the door every day and some even yelled mournfully things like, “Li Xueyi, you have the guts to steal the man, but don’t have the guts to open the door!?”

“You have the guts to snatch the man, but don’t have the guts to give us sisters an explanation!?”

“Goddamned Li Xueyi! Open the door ah! You have the guts to steal the man, but don’t have the guts to open the door!”

As Li Hong listened to these voices that were so filled with resentment it could practically reach the skies, he stared fearfully at the large doors that were tottering on the verge of collapse. He stiffly turned his neck to look at Xu Tao and asked, “How about we withdraw first after all?”

If they didn’t withdraw, they’d definitely be torn to shreds once these women rush in.

Haa, what evil did this Alliance Head encounter to have caught the attention of that monster Baili Yu so much that Baili Yu insisted on becoming his bride? And Baili Yu had even spread the news around the whole of heavens as if he was extremely afraid that no one would know about it.

When he recalled the scene of that day when Alliance Head da ren was dragged back by Ye Chuan – the way Alliance Head da ren’s expression looked as if he was being defiled by seven large men as he screamed hysterically that he refused to marry Baili Yu even if he were to die – Li Hong felt intense sympathy pour out from his heart. Alliance Head ah, Alliance Head. Why do you have such a pitiful fate!?

Xu Tao also seemed to have recalled Tang Doudou’s miserable condition that day. He hastily shook his head. “Right now, there’s only you and I here in the Alliance Head Residence that can help the Alliance Head. If we also left, then the Alliance Head’s inevitable fate…”

As he spoke, he glanced at the doors that were creaking and groaning from the force of the pounds. He gulped and asked uncertainly, “How about we bring the Alliance Head along and run?”

“Run? This little uncle, I, is not going to run!” Tang Doudou, who had squeezed out from some unknown place, looked gloomily towards Li Hong and Xu Tao. “Da fudge, being forced to run away by a bunch of females is way too pathetic!”

“Alliance Head, while the green hills last, there’s no need to fear running out of wood to burn (where there’s life there’s hope). Not to mention, us big men don’t need to bicker over things with this bunch of women. Coming back after they disperse won’t be too late,” Li Hong persuaded.

When Tang Doudou heard this, she shook her head hard almost as if it was a rattle drum. “Think of a different way. Something like running away is something that must be considered at length!”

If they hastily ran off like this, they would only be able to hide from these crazy women. They wouldn’t be able to hide from Baili Yu, that life-threatening guy. If she was going to run, she had to completely disappear without a trace and thoroughly get away from Baili Yu, that dangerous guy.

This matter truly was outside of her expectations. God knows where so many admirers of Baili Yu came from. Before she even managed to recover from the stun dealt by Baili Yu, that nutjob, the Alliance Head Residence had already been surrounded by this crowd of crazy girls. In addition, they insisted on getting an explanation.

Da f*ck, don’t even bring up giving an explanation (jiao1dai4交代). She, Tang Doudou, didn’t even have adhesive tape (jiao1dai4胶带) ah!

Shouldn’t they be asking Baili Yu about this? What are they trying to do by surrounding her Alliance Head Residence?

But what was even more abominable was that Baili Yu, that bastard, actually said something like he lost his chastity to Alliance Head Li, so he could only give himself wholly to him as a bride. Thus, he hoped the Alliance Head Residence would regard him well and let him marry over honorably with dignity!

When Tang Doudou heard that, she almost fainted.

She even had the desire to ram herself into a steel pole. He already said that it was all up to her, yet he went back on his words in the blink of an eye. It was seriously too much! Pei! But the main point isn’t that, it’s the fact that he actually said he lost his chastity to her!

Freak! As if he lost his chastity ah! At this moment, she actually did have the desire to do dat to Baili Yu, but she needs that ability to do so ah!

Originally, when this matter first exploded, she wanted to reveal her female identity. But on second thought, even if she exposed that, there didn’t seem to be any meaning in it. It was possible that after finding out her female identity, that bastard Baili Yu might decide to take her as a bride instead of becoming her bride. Even though he might be homosexual, he’d definitely do it anyways for revenge after learning that she’s a girl!

Who asked him to have such a twisted personality!?

He seriously didn’t care about the order of the world at all. This was what made Tang Doudou feel completely helpless when dealing with him.

In any case, if her female identity was revealed, the waves that it would sweep up in the Jianghu wouldn’t be any less than this matter. The person who would bear the blunt of criticism first was Elder Yu, that old bastard. Immediately afterwards, the trouble from the open guns and hidden arrows Elder Yu exacted on her wouldn’t be any less than the trouble caused by this matter!

With Baili Yu’s meddling added on… Ha. Ha. Ha. At that time, she’ll completely become dead Beanbeans.

Not to mention, this matter hasn’t reached the point of being beyond salvaging. She had already discussed with Bai Feiyun a couple days ago. As soon as the opportunity presented itself, he’ll bring her away to escape from Baili Yu.

Bai Feiyun said he had already informed the City Lord of this matter and she should return to Cloud City first. After the disturbance tides over, they could come back and discuss with Baili Yu whether they could compensate a different way.

Back then, when she heard this, Tang Doudou was almost angered to the point that her eyes practically rolled back to reveal the whites, her legs lifted up in the air, and she almost breathed her last. It’s over, it’s completely over! The entire world believed that she had topped Baili Yu!

Even Xiao Bai would use a particularly distressed gaze to look at her from time to time. It even seemed to carry traces of hidden bitterness…

This is such a fricking sad story.

Tang Doudou propped up her chin and revealed a mournful expression in her eyes. Xiao Bai ah, Xiao Bai. How much longer will it take for you to come save Beanbeans from this fire?!

She felt that she couldn’t hold on much longer. The feeling was especially strong when some androgynous sounds started to come from outside the door. Tang Doudou woefully tilted her head back forty-five degrees to look at the clear sky. “God ah, can’t you give me a normal storyline to walk?”T/N

How could Li Hong and Xu Tao possibly guess what she meant? When they heard what she said, they shared a gaze with helpless expressions. Would they even make it in time if they considered at length?

For the sake of taking refuge, almost all the people of the Alliance Head Residence had already left. Even Bai Feiyun who has always supported Alliance Head da ren has left. If it weren’t for the fact that their conscience made it hard for them to do so, they would have left as well. After all, this matter was seriously too big. And facing women whose hearts were swollen from envy could be said to be the most terrifying crowd on earth to face!

When she saw that Li Hong and Xu Tao’s facial colors weren’t so good, Tang Doudou, as the supporting backbone, patted their shoulders to comfort them. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine!”

Though she said that, Li Hong and Xu Tao’s hearts were filled with distress as they looked at that door. They didn’t know how much longer that door could hold and exposed expressions of hesitation.

Tang Doudou thought for a bit, then said, “I think Baili Yu probably also wouldn’t want to be a grass widow (a woman whose husband is away often or for a prolonged period). How about you two head to Plum Garden and tell him that if he doesn’t come up with any ideas, I’m going to commit suicide? And see if he’ll come help chase these women away?”

Grass widow? How come they felt like Alliance Head da ren was overthinking things? How come it felt that it was more impossible for Baili Yu to allow himself to be a grass widow than it was for the sun to rise from the west?

Li Hong said, “Alliance Head, I feel like he probably doesn’t plan to help. Things have already gotten so big, yet he hadn’t even sent anyone over to take a look.”

Tang Doudou rolled her eyes. Of course she understood this logic. She was already thanking the heavens and the earth that Baili Yu wasn’t creating more trouble for her. Wanting him to help? Ha. Ha. Ha. She’d be better off just swiping a knife across her own neck.

She was only saying this to make Li Hong and Xu Tao leave first. Truthfully, Tang Doudou was very grateful to these two for all they did during this incident. Of the entire Alliance Head Residence, other than Xiao Bai, the two of them were the only ones that were willing to stay behind to help her. Oh, that’s right. There was also a monkey!

Hou Zi!

__________

Credits: Translated by Chiyomira, Edited by LazyMiyu

[Chiyomira’s Corner]
T/N – Author-sama probably said no to a normal storyline. 🙂
Also, “some androgynous sounds” refers to sounds that didn’t sound male or female.

Glossary

 


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