How to overcome rejection (relationship focused)
Disclaimer: This is based on my own personal opinions. My goal is to help you. I understand that not everyone will agree with my views.
No one wants to be rejected. I mean, that should be obvious! If we audition for a role, we want that role. If we chase a guy/girl, we want that person!
But sadly, there is no way you can avoid being rejected if you are going to attempt something. The reality is, not everyone will like you and not everyone will want you.
So, how do you overcome this negative emotion?
In my opinion, you can’t take the rejection to heart. Just because she/he rejected you, it doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of being loved. Not everyone will be your type, and you are not everyone’s type.
Being rejected is normal and it happens to everyone.
To me, the way to overcome rejection is to get so accustomed to it that it no longer bothers you.
People ask me all the time. “Grace, how do I talk to girls? I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to appear desperate or needy. I want them to show interest. I don’t mind showing interest but it always end up being super awkward and I’m just tired of being rejected again and again.”
The answer is, talk to more girls!!!
Now, you might think that’s just ridiculous. I don’t want to talk to more girls. I only want one girl. Why do I have to talk to more girls?
Well, allow me to explain. The reason why you’re so uncomfortable with talking to women is because you’re not confident enough. Yes. I said it. You lack confidence and you’re afraid the outcome will not be what you had hoped.
So first, you have to BUILD CONFIDENCE!!!! Trust me, women love confidence. We can feel and smell it from a mile away. If you come up to us, and you’re super uncomfortable, we end up feeling uncomfortable as well.
So how do you build confidence? You have to talk to more women so you can gain more practice and exposure!! Ask anyone who is good at something, they will tell you to practice and do it many times!
The way women react varies dramatically. One woman might find your behaviour very charming, whereas, another woman may think you are being creepy.
Hence, you need exposure and practice so you know when to push forward or when to back off.
The more you do something, the better you will become. So listen to me. Each day, make it a goal to talk to five women (family and friends do not count). If you do not know what to say, just compliment them first. For example, “Wow, your polka dot shoes really caught my eye!”
The goal is not to “hit on them” and try to get something out of it. Right now, I just want you to get a positive smile or a “Thank you!”. After a month of doing this, you will have complimented 150 women and be much more confident than before.
I need you to build up the courage to talk to them first. Once you feel comfortable enough, you can start leading a conversation.
You might think this is way too much work and it is not worth it, but if you can’t even have a conversation with a woman, what makes you think you can make her fall in love with you?
Also, by speaking to five women a day, you’re putting yourself in a position where there are more possibilities. Perhaps, the women will carry on the conversation with you!
You’re going to have to step out of your comfort zone if you want anything to change. If you continue doing what you have always done, you will always get the same results. Thus, my post is only for people who are tired of being rejected and wants to improve themselves.
Note: This post is applicable for women as well. Women can also approach men. Ladies, I’m sure most guys would appreciate it if you make the first move sometimes!! And if you’re lesbian or gay, this post can still apply to you!
P.S. I am thinking of starting a “Dear Grace” series. If you have a situation or question you would want me to respond to, please leave it in the comments below. I’ll pick a few that has the most thumbs up. (If no one has any questions or issues, I’ll just write whatever I want. LOL)
P.P.S. Check out my friend and fellow translator Grenn’s latest post on the Dao of Translating!! <3
P.P.P.S. I wrote a post on building confidence before. Go through my Grace Time posts and you can find it 😉 *wink wink*