FM Chapter 7

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Chapter 7: Buying a Computer (1)

It wasn’t too convenient if one didn’t have a computer at school. Right now, turning in homework also required a digital version, and I had to run to the Calculation Center to do a problem. Even though the charges were inexpensive, comparing it to the five dollar “allowance” the dorm gave to each individual person, the Calculation Center was not too convenient, not to mention, doing homework while eating snacks. The foot stench of the guys beside me made me unable to continue staying there. I decided to go buy a computer.

But I knew nothing of computer problems. Even though there had always been a good Silicon Valley computer square nearby, as a computer idiot, I completely didn’t understand the CPU the ads spoke of, inner core, outer core. I asked Julie: “Julie, have you bought a computer?”

“My dad rewarded me when I got into Peking Uni, and already sent me a laptop. But I was afraid that bringing a laptop to school at the start would make for too much publicity.”

“F**k, is saying this to me directly, not called publicity? Then what will I do? Unless I should go to the Southern gate and enter Silicon Valley directly; slap my money on the table and say: ‘Boss give me a computer!’”

“This is not bad. There is boldness, a sense of a local money lord, and a upstart personality. Haha… why don’t you call your Brother Xiao Xi to help you, and you can even create an opportunity to meet. First, he comes, then you treat him to a meal as thanks. You two will be unfamiliar with each other at first, but later you two will warm up to each other.”

“This idea is not bad.  But. If he asks me about what configuration requirements I have, and I don’t know, then won’t It seem like an idiot?”

“Hey, this is nothing to worry about. The typical girl buying a computer will be a little weaker in knowledge, which will better reflect the guy’s sense of accomplishment. Otherwise, will he also further explore with you what kind of CPU you want, what kind of memory plays games smoothly, and how to get to pornography movies quickly?”

I felt she had a point. Just because someone had a high IQ didn’t mean that he knew everything. He could be the occasional computer idiot, and he wouldn’t see through my IQ. He might also feel my stupidity made me cute. As my thoughts led me here, I got out my phone and began to write a text: “Xiao Xi, do you have time this weekend?” After I finished writing it, I felt this text was too common and changed it to: “Xiao Xi, can you help me with something this weekend?” No, this was too light. “Xiao Xi, I must request your help this weekend.” Nope, this was too formal.

After thinking for half the day, I finally sent this text: Xiao Xi, do you have time this weekend?

After I finished, I looked at my phone so hard that my eyes got sore. My cell phone didn’t move at all. With great difficulty, I troubled myself to open my phone, and it only said 10086: Your credit balance is less than 10 yuan. I immediately collapsed, and decided to go out, run around,and then come back and check.

When I got downstairs, I felt that running was too pointless, as if I had nothing better to do and it even wasted my energy without increasing my IQ at all. I could only head  left towards the supermarket to buy some ice cream.

After I walked a few steps, I discovered Xiao Xi kicking a soccer ball, walking over from the opposite side. I wondered if I should pretend I didn’t see anything, return to go check my texts, or say hi, but then…how should I say hi. Before I could finish my internal conflict, Xiao Xi waved at me and said: “What are you thinking about, Lin Lin? Be careful that you don’t bump into a wall when you look down while you walk.”

I laughed dumbly: “I was just thinking of a problem I was just doing. I haven’t answered it yet. Haha.”

Xiao Xi kicked the soccerball over and asked me: “Don’t you guys not do math? What question has stumped you?”

I was speechless for a moment. I thought about it and said: “Logic problem, in the magazine, I saw a logic problem, and I didn’t have anything to do, so I decided to try it. If we have time I’ll let you do it.” When I finished, my own face reddened. I only had one magazine by the name of “Salon”, unless my logic problem was researching how to destroy the women’s faces with some kind of sulfate?

Xiao Xi quickly replied: “All right.” The sweat on his forehead shone in the sunlight.

I laughed and said: “I just sent you a text, and wanted to ask you if you had any plans this weekend. I want to go buy a computer, but I don’t understand any of it, and I’m afraid I will be scammed.”

Xiao Xi pointed to his soccer ball and told me: “Just now I went to go play soccer, so I didn’t bring my cell phone. This weekend, I probably shouldn’t have anything to do, but computers are Yu Ke’s strongsuit. Initially, he wanted to register for the Department of Computer Science, but he didn’t want to make his interest into a professional job study so he registered for economics.”

“Ah? There are even people who don’t want to be a professional in their interest?”

“Everyone thinks differently. He felt if he had to see different books daily, and force himself to take many tests, it would make him less and less interested in his favourite topic.”

“That’s really a pity. But he probably has to accompany Ru Ting over the weekend. So it should still be you who helps me buy it, Xiao Xi.” I begged.

“You know Ru Ting?” Xiao Xi was a little thrown off, and continued to say: “No problem, see you on the weekend.”

I ran back to my dorm like a baby, completely forgetting the matter of buying ice cream.

On the weekend, I woke up early, and even woke Julie up: “Julie, Julie, wake up soon. I am going to see my hubby soon and leave. Will you help me look at my outfit and see if it makes me look pure?”

Julie turned around: “Sister, it’s finally the weekend. Just let me sleep peacefully.”

I squeezed Julie’s face: “Just help me take a look, just a glance. Does it look pure?”

Julie hazily sat up: “Does anyone ask someone else if they look pure? Does your hubby like people who look pure?”

“He looks very pure, and he must like pretty ladies.”

“Sex-crazed women or pretty women? Change into a different skirt. Right now you look too childish. If I put your hair into two pigtails, you’ll look like someone just going into middle school. And change into some sneakers before you leave. You’re going shopping and not mountain climbing, right?”

“Then what should I do?” I anxiously asked Julie.

Julie got up and went into her cabinet to take out a green dress. In front of me, she gestured: “Wear this one. I wore it once before I lost weight, and now it doesn’t look good on me. I don’t have any skirts. They’re all at home.”

“Then what about shoes?” I looked at her.

Julie said: “You can only go to the supermarket and buy some. Nearby, there’s a mall but it hasn’t opened yet. You’ll definitely think my shoes are too big for you.”

So it was like this that I ran to the supermarket in the morning, and bought the first high heels of my life.

When everything was ready, I looked at my watch. It was already the appointed time. I breathed deeply and asked Julie: “Does this look okay?”

“Looks good, looks good, you look as noble as the Royal Mrs Chiang** (TLN: it’s a chinese saying. Basically, a “Mrs Chiang” was the epitome of nobility ).”

I walked down the stairs. To tell the truth, wearing high heels for my first time and running into the hands of my crush was risky. But, I had to crush the bold, and stave the weak. I decided to go out like this. Ru Ting wore high heels all the time, how was I unable to do so too? Hmph.

Downstairs, I saw Xiao Xi. I was just about to wave, but I saw Fang Yu Ke was there too. I asked him softly: “How come you’re also here?”

He cocked his eyebrow: “Xiao Xi said you’re going to buy a computer and wanted me to come consult too.”

Xiao Xi followed with: “Yup, the more people there are, the more references we can get.”

F**k, an unwanted third party was uncalled for. “Where’s Ru Ting?” I pretended to ask.

“I don’t know.” Fang Yu Ke turned and said, “Let’s go.”

Thus, the two person date I had envisioned, turned into a three person group.

I complained incessantly along the way. They were both guys, and when they walked they would walk quickly. This was my first time wearing high heels, so as I walked, I would limp, and the new shoes rubbed me intensely. Originally, the journey from Peking University to Silicon Valley would only take a few minutes, but now I had to take a step and stop for a moment. The only thing missing was me taking off my shoes and walking with bare feet.

Xiao Xi turned back to look at me and asked: “Lin Lin, your countenance doesn’t look too great. Are you uncomfortable?”

I immediately pasted on a smiling face: “How could I? When I usually walk, it is always slower.”

Fang Yu Ke looked at me, then he looked at my feet and said: “Poor squandering (time or money).”

I hated that I couldn’t take off my shoes and throw them onto his face. After enduring it for a moment, and weighing my options, I said to Xiao Xi: “Xiao Xi, what about this, I feel there isn’t a point to having so many people going to go buy a computer. Fang Yu Ke and I will be enough. If we three people go buy a computer, the store people will think we’re robbing the store.”

Xiao Xi laughed: “No, we’ve already gotten here. I’ll accompany you to go buy it.”

I persistently said: “No need, really no need. I can just go with Fang Yu Ke.”

Xiao Xi was a little awkward. He shook his head: “Then all right. I’ll go back and watch  the game. After you’ve bought it, send me a short text.”

I nodded: “En, of course. I’m sorry for bothering you, Xiao Xi.”

When I saw Xiao Xi leave by himself, I felt very comfortable. What did ‘letting the cooked duck fly away’ mean? What did ‘shortfall’ mean? Forget it, I couldn’t let him see my limping appearance. Today I had been too unwise. Wearing a pair of sandals was so much stronger than wearing a pair of heels.

I sighed, took off my high heels, and said to Fang Yu Ke: “Let’s go.”

Fang Yu Ke pointed to my feet: “We’re going like this?”

I was angry. My aggrieved feelings from just now burst out in one go: “What do mean going like this? Do you disapprove? Am I not allowed a cool reprieve? Will I lose your face? If I’m going to lose your face then you can return. I originally thought today would be great, but why does God love to play with me?” As I said this, my eyes began to ache.

Fang Yu Ke had no idea what he did wrong. He didn’t think that I would have such an outburst: “I didn’t mean this. I meant that walking with bare feet would be uncomfortable. What if you get an open wound on your foot and get tetanus or something.”

“Why are you cursing me? Then what about it? Will you piggyback me? Do you think we’re filming a drama here? Do you think you’re a noble wealthy man from whatever house? Plus, I am not any Cinderella. I am the unequalled King Kong beautiful maiden!” As I kept talking farther and farther away from my original topic, I had probably been infuriated to no end. I could not think about whether the things I spoke of had any logical relationship to my original argument anymore.

Fang Yu Ke was happy: “What hogwash are you talking about? If you want me to piggyback you, then you can just say something. If you don’t say anything how would I know that you want me to piggyback you? I might have actually piggybacked you if you had just asked.”

He spoke in circles just like the monk, Tang Sen in “Journey to the West”. This was my first time knowing Fang Yu Ke could be so talkative.

I glared at Fang Yu Ke and didn’t speak.

Fang Yu Ke got a little scared and upset by my staring, and timidly asked me: “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

I humphed: “Fang Yu Ke, do you have paraphrenia or are you bipolar? Why do you suddenly change from the cold faced killer to such an immature monk? In the future, when you change characters, let me know, and I can prepare in my heart. I’m afraid my weak spirit will be unable to stand such a blow. If I pass away one day, will you be able to face my mother?”

Fang Yu Ke laughed and retorted: “How is my changing characters more powerful than you? When Xiao Xi is in front of you, you pretend you’re a fairy who doesn’t need to eat or drink, but when you’re in front of me, you’re almost like a vixen.”

“What vixen? Who’re you saying is the vixen?” I put a hand on my hip and asked him.

“Look at your posture. Barefoot and hands on your hips. If you aren’t like a vixen then what else are you like?”

“At the most, I am a barefooted fairy, understand?”

“More like a fairy’s stepmother.”

I was enraged and yelled at him: “Go buy me some shoes!”

Really, we were quarrelling near the Wu Mei supermarket. Fang Yu Ke took my high heels to compare the sizes and left. After a while, he returned with a pair of sneakers.

Fang Yu Ke shook the shoes around: “Fairy, do you need me to crouch down to help you change into these?”

“Nope. This work should be left to my hubby. I can’t give you an advantage.” I snatched the shoes and changed into them.

“Yeah right! I helped you buy a skirt and pants, and now some shoes?” Fang Yu Ke’s face looked terrible.

I quickly took out a few yuan from my bag from the money I was going to use to buy the computer: “For you, for you. I’m afraid I forgot to give you your money. Jeanswest isn’t any luxury brand, so you don’t have to be like this. When you buy me some Chanel clothing then we’ll talk.”

Fang Yu Ke’s face looked even worse. He shoved my money back into my bag and walked ahead angrily.

Wearing sneakers was great. I immediately felt like I could fly. I caught up to him: “Brother, I was kidding. I don’t have a status, how could I let you buy expensive clothes for me. Last time, wasn’t it lucky?”

Fang Yu Ke’s face didn’t warm up: “So if you have a status, you can buy clothes. Then after you buy clothes, does that represent that you have a status? Really.”

“When you speak, can you hear the focal point or not?” I also got mad. You aren’t my hubby, why do I still have to coax you, ah. “The important part is, important part is—-” What was my important part again? After he diverged topics, I got confused.

Fang Yu Ke’s tight face suddenly laughed: “Say, why is your temper still so fiery?”

“Don’t pretend that you’re very familiar with me. What are you talking about: ‘still so fiery’? My temper has always been great, usually I am always gentle. Before I knew you, I was a lady. Usually, people would resent the fact that my voice was too light and too gentle. It’s only that you incite matters too much, so this cannot be blamed on me.”

The corner of Fang Yu Ke’s mouth were about to be drawn back to his ears: “En, before you were really a lady, absolutely a lady!”

When he laughed at me, I was a little flustered. When I was in high school, I also had my valiant moments, but at that time, we still had not recognized each other. Why did it seem that when he laughed, he knew something? I shot him a look: “Hey, what are you laughing at? Where do I seem unladylike?”

Fang Yu Ke laughed: “First, I want to prove that you are a girl, and then prove you are a lady.”

I was so furious that I just couldn’t hold it in: “Prove it, prove it, prove I am a girl!” This sentence was a little too loud, and made the passerbys continuously cast sidelong glances at us.

Fang Yu Ke was a little embarrassed: “You’re a little too unconventional, right? There’s no opportunity for me prove you that are a woman with this large crowd.”

I finally passed him, annoyed.

When we got in front of Silicon Valley, Fang Yu Ke asked me: “What are you mainly going to use the computer for? If your usage is not the same, then the configuration focus will not be the same.”

I laughed: “I’ll use it for typing.”

Fang Yu Ke lifted his head towards the sky. It seemed that a long time had passed before he asked me a question: “I dare ask this idiot, besides typing, what other work will you use it for?”

“Going online.”

“Please be more specific.”

“For example, I’ll get on BBS, visit forums, read web novels, write love letters to my hubby.”

“For a more specific question, which hubby?”

“Of course it’s Xiao Xi.” After I said this, I discovered my slip of the tongue, but I immediately made a zipper action on my mouth: “The heavens know of this, the earth knows of this, and you and I know of this, all right?”

All of a sudden, Fang Yu Ke didn’t speak and only stared at me. I was stared at so much that my heart seemed to become upset, and added: “At the most, you may allow Ru Ting to know of this too.”

Fang Yu Ke laughed helplessly: “Zhou Lin Lin, don’t you feel that the secrets between us have become a little too much?” He didn’t wait for me to speak and entered the computer store.


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  • merita

    thanks for translating this:)