FM Chapter 4

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Chapter 4: The Revolution is Inviting Guests to Dinner

After two more days, it was time to choose our courses. Even though summer break had been so long- from June to August- when I saw it was about to end, I felt reluctant to part with it. After I finished purchasing some household items with my dormmates, I decided to eat and drink well to celebrate marrying into a wealthy family [1].  However, when the time came, my dormmates’ parents still had not left and I was embarrassed about dragging people around to eat with me. The more important part was that I had not seen Xiao Xi for two days. How could I create an opportunity for me and Xiao Xi to eat together? Inviting him alone would definitely show that I was immodest. I schemed in my heart and grabbed my phone to find the name of the contact I dubbed the Cold Killer. On the other end, some very beautiful music drifted over. What a waste of money, paying money for such a beautiful caller ring-back tone for someone else to enjoy. The song was almost halfway through, and Fang Yuke still had not answered the phone. I hung up and could only lay on the bed for an afternoon nap, with nothing else to do.

I didn’t know how long I had slept when I was suddenly woken up by hunger. I grabbed my cell phone to see the time, and saw that four calls from the Cold Killer had been unanswered. I just thought of calling him back, when my phone rang. I glanced at the name, and it was still the Cold Killer. I answered it. “Hello? What is the matter that you are so anxious to get ahold of me?”

The other side was silent for a while. “Are you a pig? I called you so many times, you didn’t even hear it!”

I felt like he was being ridiculous. “What? I was just sleeping! If you need to say something, hurry up and say it. If you need to fart, fart quickly. I still need to go to the bathroom.”

“What’s the matter? Wasn’t it you who called me? Idiot.”

I paused, recalling that I had actually called this person before I went to sleep. The person at the other end was impatient, “I can’t stand you anymore. I’m hanging up.”

“Wait, I remember now, I remember now. I want to take you out for a meal.”

There was a moment of silence. I thought the signal wasn’t good. “Hello, can you hear me? I said I want to treat you for a meal. Give me some face big senior brother~”

“Where are we going to eat?”

F**k, I had invited him out for dinner, but his attitude was still just as cold. “The place is hard to find. We haven’t been here for a few days, and I’m not familiar with the area. What about this, you can ask Xiao Xi to come along too. I also have to thank him for his help these past few days. Incidentally, we can also let him be a guide for us and introduce a place to eat.”

I held the cell phone with one hand, regretfully unable to make some applause for myself with the other hand. My IQ was definitely over 150. How could I be so smart? These words were much more reasonable and full of restraint!

The person at the other end paused again, and said, “I will do my best.” He didn’t wait for me to speak before he hung up the phone. You brat. If you have to save energy for the power bill, then don’t keep pausing when you speak. Seriously! But when I thought of eating dinner with Xiao Xi I made a triumphant gesture, “Oh yeah!” After I finished speaking, I foolishly laughed and wandered off to the bathroom with my lion-like hairstyle.

First thing in the next morning, I received a short text from Fang Yuke that was so dense it couldn’t possibly get denser: Guolin Restaurant, 7:00 pm, meet me at the entrance. F**k, he sent a text, and he was even personal messaging me?! I replied: Ok, is he going? I waited for a long time but the brat didn’t reply to me again. He had probably begun his love affair with his girlfriend.

I had not seen Xiao Xi in the past few days. My heart was about to pop out of my chest. Now we were finally about to meet, and I was a little flustered. Wait, was liking a person was always like this? Was I supposed to be worried and uneasy? I turned my head out at the window, and thought about what Xiao Xi was doing now. Maybe he was sleeping? No, he probably couldn’t sleep as well as I could.  Was he reading? Probably. What book? Comic books? No, that was what I read. Textbooks? No, too boring. He was definitely reading a very deep book, completely in English- something about the mysteries of the universe or the analysis of global financial trends. Whenever he was not satisfied with the author’s explanation, he probably used a pencil to write his own point of view. As for where the author’s point of view was especially brilliant, he would would definitely mark the text by drawing a large wavy line. Yep, that was right- he would use a clean slender finger to flip the pages, page by page. Then, he would immerse himself completely in the book.

“What are you thinking about? Is it that appealing?” Wang Jie’s beautiful legs stepped over and stopped my daydreaming. Everyone in the dorm was young, so it didn’t take long before we were interacting together like a family. I laughed. “I’m thinking of my hubby.”

“Oh, what family is he from? Introduce him, introduce him.” Wang Jie’s gossiping ears had already perked up.

“The secret cannot be revealed.” I laughed. “I should still wait until we get to the husband and wife stage; if there is an opportunity, I’ll introduce him to you.”

“Are you being ambiguous or are your feelings unrequited? Seeing as you’re laughing like a perverted monster, I’m guessing your feelings are unrequited.”

“Hey, what are you saying? How come my perverted laugh automatically labels our relationship as an unrequited relationship? How do you smile ambiguously?”

“You won’t understand how to do so. The ambiguous smile has to be bashful; you have to look soft and gentle yet deep. I’ll show you.” When she finished, Wang Jie rested her chin in her hands and became a virtuous maiden.

I laughed, “You are acting like Lin Daiyu [1].”

“You have to act like you are about to hide the moon and make the flowers shy from your beauty [2]. What you did a second ago made you look like your saliva was about to dribble onto the floor.” Wang Jie laughed.

“Whoa you really did get it right. Our relationship is unrequited. The other party doesn’t know about my intentions. Look at you and your boyfriend, calling each other so much! Aren’t you afraid calluses will form in your ear? I’m just trying to help you share the weight of all the phone calls. Maybe soon enough, the calls in the dorm will all be for me!”

“Can you laugh a bit more romantically?” Wang Jie pushed me. “Seeing how you’re acting, this is the first time you’ve fallen in love, right?”

“You’re an expert, a definite expert. How did you know?”

“When I was dating, you were still behind me. Alas, love is a little complicated. If it doesn’t play out correctly, the aftermath can range from a sad heart to heavy self-mutilation.”

“Bah, bah! How can it not work out?! Even if it can’t work out, it has to! My mom said my first mission is to find a boyfriend here. How can I live up to my mother’s beautiful expectations?”

“Alright, alright, alright. Linlin, I will just wish you success.” Wang Jie turned and sat at her own chair. She carried a mirror and began to do her makeup.

I turned and watched Wang Jie apply eyeliner on her eye lids. Wang Jie turned and looked at me, “How can I do my makeup when you’re staring like that? I feel so uncomfortable.”

“Heheheh, Jie’er [3], why don’t you also help me do my makeup? I have a date tonight.”

Wang Jie laughed. “All right, no problem.” After she finished her own makeup, she began to put something onto my face. She wiped it on as she said, “Your skin is a little dry. The T-zone is a little oily. Mm, here is a small pimple.”

“Big sister, can you stop attacking me? If you continue on like that, I will become a yellow-faced grandmother. I haven’t acclimatized yet, so that’s why I’m like this. Isn’t this putting your makeup skills to the test too? I have a date tonight, so give me confidence, okay?”

“Really, why a yellow faced grandmother? Why would a grandmother have a pimple on her face? You are definitely not a grandmother. Haha. Say something serious. I’ll apply some light makeup for your first date then, so that you’ll look gentle and soft.”

After half an hour, Wang Jie shoved the mirror into my hand, “Look at my handiwork. I’ve made you into someone people will love at first sight- a little fairy at whom flowers bloom upon seeing you.”

“This is really the work of the gods!” I clicked my tongue in praise as I admired it in front of the mirror. At first glance, I could see that all my pimples, and dark areas had all disappeared. Another circle of makeup had been added around my eyes.

I fiercely hugged Wang Jie, “Wait for this lady to arrive from my battle victorious, and upon my return, I’ll treat you to meat.”

I looked at the map. Guolin wasn’t that far from Peking Uni. I estimated that it would take about ten minutes for me to get there. In the face of modesty, I decided to arrive there punctually. I never stopped checking my watch. When the time finally reached 6:50, I urgently set off.

Fang Yuke and Xiao Xi were already talking at the entrance of Guolin. From afar, the scene of two sexy guys posing as door gods in front of Guolin was a bit wasteful as they were too hot to just be door gods. I readjusted my breathing, walked over, and waved, “Hey, sorry I’m late.”

Fang Yuke turned to look at me. He looked startled for a moment before he turned around coldly and said to Xiao Xi, “Let’s go.”

I automatically ignored him and walked over to Xiao Xi, saying, “Xiao Xi, did you wait long?”

Xiao Xi shook his head, “No, no. I just went to the Economics Center and almost missed the appointed time. I just ran over. The person who waited for a long time should probably be Fang Yuke.”

While we were ordering food, I asked Xiao Xi what he wanted to drink. Xiao Xi asked, “Do you guys drink beer?”

Fang Yuke said, “Anything is fine with me.”

I waved my hands. “You guys drink. I won’t drink anything. I can’t drink alcohol. Heheh.”

In fact, my alcoholic capacity is not that bad. When I was young, my dad would feed me with chopsticks dipped in rice wine. Now, drinking beer was just like playing around. Drinking beer was obviously the solution to such a hot summer’s day. Unfortunately, I wore a princess-y dress, and had applied some light makeup. To stake everything for some alcohol wouldn’t be very fitting and it would be bad if I scared Xiao Xi. I would still try to endure it.

Over at the table, I gave up on all the dishes I could reach only with my arm completely straightened [4]. No matter how alluring the food looked, I automatically filtered it out. I drank a cup of iced water, ate a bite of the food, and slowly chewed and swallowed. All the virtuous ladies on television ate like this. Even if my stomach hated me, I was even more afraid that I would scare my future husband as I usually stuffed the food into my mouth disgustingly. I grabbed a napkin and wiped my mouth. Then, I recited my script, “Xiao Xi, how should I live out my days in university for it to be meaningful?”

I didn’t know what Fang Yuke had choked on but he continued to cough. I looked up at the sky, God, at the same time you smash meat pies on me, please also smash this person to death.

Fang Yuke was practically my nemesis. Every single time, he destroyed the great atmosphere.

Xiao Xi laughed as his eyes narrowed into cute crescents and his dimples deepened, “It depends on what you seek. If you want peaceful days, you can learn just like how you did in high school; if you have ever thought of enriching your life, you may want to participate in some clubs. Peking Uni has a lot of clubs. There are competitions like the “Hundred Regiments offensive”. In the beginning of the school year, each club will begin to recruit newbies, and you can participate in one or two clubs according to your interest or you can go find an internship. Some people have already decided if they want to go out of the country or test into graduate school. Different goals may make people’s lives different.”

The moment I heard this, my heart got cold. What if I were to say, “My goal is to not get kicked out of school and find a man to marry?”

I hesitated and instead said, “Hehe, as I’ve just entered university I haven’t thought of what I want to do in the future. What are your plans for the future?”

Xiao Xi didn’t say anything. After a while he sighed and said, “I plan to go out of the country to get a Masters degree in Finance, and I’m definitely going to strive for a scholarship. However, my dad is ill right now, and I feel a little worried.”

Seeing Xiao Xi become extremely downcast, I didn’t know how to comfort him, so I could only say, “If his health is lacking then he should go see the doctor more often, and eat more medicine. It will definitely get better someday.”

Fang Yuke drank a sip of beer, “You idiot. “Eat some more medicine”- does anyone say things like that? His father is already a doctor.”

I also felt I had made a mistake. I immediately followed up with, “Hehe, I really don’t know how to speak properly. I meant, lucky people will inevitably be favored by the heavens. You don’t need to worry too much.”

Actually, I felt very uncomfortable. Xiao Xi’s grades were excellent. He could go abroad and gain a scholarship. I was learning German, so if I went overseas, I could go to Germany. I wouldn’t have anything to do, going to an imperialistic state. Plus, I didn’t even know if I could graduate, so getting a scholarship was but a faraway dream.

The atmosphere at the dining table lowered instantenously. To liven up the atmosphere, I immediately lifted my iced water and said, “For a beautiful tomorrow, cheers!”

Fang Yuke laughed, saying, “Cheers!”

I added, “To the smile of the millennial iceberg (referring to FYK), cheers!”

Some time later, I pretended to go to the bathroom so that I could pay the bill.

The waiter said that the gentleman from before had already paid. I turned and looked at them and softly asked, “Which one? The one with dimples or the one wearing glasses?”

The waiter pointed at Fang Yuke, “The one that looks like Won Bin.”

Remembering this at a later date, I think this person’s concept of aestheticism was really strange. I felt Fang Yuke’s face was big and square, but why did my mother and the waiter all compare him to Won Bin? Won Bin had some dimples, okay…….

I ran back and secretly asked Fang Yuke, “Why would you pay for the meal with such a sense of justice?”

Fang Yuke glanced at me. “I am not used to letting girls treat me to dinner, even if you don’t resemble a girl in the first place.”

I gritted my teeth and asked, “How am I not a girl?”

Fang Yue purposely looked at my chest and word by word he asked, “What-do-you-think?”

I felt like blood began to boil on my face, but since Xiao Xi was by the side, I didn’t dare explode. Thus, I could only swallow my temper and say, “Just wait, Fang Yuke!”

I snorted. The peaceful Xiao Xi said, “Are you full? If you’re full we can go.”

I stood up, preparing to leave. Fang Yu Ke suddenly said to Xiao Xi, “Xiao Xi you should go first; we still have some matters to discuss.”  

I glared at him, trying not to move my mouth noticeably, “When did we have something to speak about in private?”

Fang Yuke pulled me down into a sitting position, and said to Xiao Xi, “We really have something up. Her mom just called me, and said that she couldn’t get through with Linlin.”

I suspiciously took out my phone. That was wrong... There was no problem with my phone.

Xiao Xi looked at me, then looked at Fang Yuke. He laughed and said all right.

I watched Xiao Xi leave just like that. Rather unhappily, I asked Fang Yuke, “What’s the matter?”

Fang Yuke was a little awkward as he said, “It’s the thing that only happens with you women.”

When I saw his hesitant appearance, I got angry and stood up, loudly asking, “What womanly matter? Speak up! Are you looking for trouble?”

Fang Yuke pointed to my dress, “Back there….it’s red….”

When I heard this, I immediately used my hand to block my behind, “Why didn’t you….didn’t you say something earlier?”

Fang Yuke whispered a sentence, “I told you that you aren’t like a girl, but you don’t have to use this to prove it.”

I felt my face grew hot as I aggressively roared at him, “Only the heavens, the earth, and you and me can know of this matter, got it?”

Fang Yuke didn’t utter a word. My heart was actually a mess. If I knew this earlier, I wouldn’t have drank ice water. Damn it, why did it come so much earlier. I’ll bet my period was like an old grandmother– it had not acclimatized yet either. But continuing to sit was not the solution.

I asked Fang Yuke, “Didn’t you promise my mom that you would take care of me well?”

Fang Yuke nodded.

I followed with, “Before I came upstairs, I saw that there was a Jeansweat store nearby that was still open as well as a convenience shop. Buy me some pants or a dress, either is fine. In the meantime… in the meantime, you need to buy me some pads. I will give you the money in a moment.”

Fang Yuke was silent a moment. Looking at me, he lowered his head as he went down the stairs.  

After a long time, Fang Yuke lugged a bag of stuff back. I immediately grabbed it and rushed to the bathroom.

I opened the plastic bag. Inside was a pair of black panties, a black dress, and many different brands of pads. I gloated happily. The rascal had probably dawdled for a long time before grabbing a pile of pads. Oh God, oh God, even though I told you I want to crush him, remember not to hurt me. Why are you using me as the side target to get at him?

I changed into the dress and went out the door. Fang Yuke was already waiting outside the bathroom. I patted his shoulder, and said, “Let’s go, it’s been hard on you.”

Fang Yuke coldly said, “Only the heavens, the earth, and you and me can know of this matter, got it?”

I laughed, “Got it, got it. In the future, if your Ru Ting meets with this situation, you’ll have experience, right?”

Fang Yuke’s face immediately drew into a frown,“Your stupid head should stop thinking about those kinds of things. You only have such a tiny amount of brain cells in total. Apply them properly otherwise you’ll never think normally.”

I was happy, “How did you know my brain cells were insufficient? Usually I rarely use my brain cells because I’m too lazy, but when I really use them I become Einstein, got it? I got 140 points on my Gao Kao. 140! What did you get?”

Fang Yuke said, “150.”

I didn’t speak to him anymore. When I talked to him, I felt no particular sense of accomplishment. I didn’t know how my brain had resuscitated when I took the Gao Kao. Before, getting 125 in math was already very good for me. But somehow I got 140 on the Gao Kao. If I had to retake the test again, I estimated I could only get 110. How did this rascal get full points? After second grade I didn’t know the concept of full points!


[1] Lin Daiyu (also spelled Lin Tai-yu, Chinese, 林黛玉; Pinyin, Lín Dàiyù) is one of the principal characters of Cao Xueqin’s classic Chinese novel Dream of the Red Chamber. She is portrayed as a well-educated, intelligent and beautiful young woman of physical frailness who is somewhat prone to occasional melancholy. (wikipedia)

[2] hide the moon and make the flowers shy from your beauty:

[3] Jie’er: It’s customary for Chinese to add the “er” to the end of someone’s name as a sign of endearment/friendship.

[4] Chinese people usually place the dishes in the middle of the table so that everyone can take some of the veggies/meat and put it into their own bowl to eat. I know some Westerners keep the food in the kitchen or they pass around the food, so I thought it best to point out the cultural difference.


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  • afufu bing

    MC is funny as heck. moarrrr! we want moaaarrr!! 😛