FM Chapter 11

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Chapter 11: Two Bags of Snacks (3)

Xiao Xi received a phone call and said the teacher wanted him to organize some files, so their discussion could take place tomorrow. I saw that it was not convenient to interrupt his studies and prepared to go downstairs while holding Xiao Xi’s plastic bag of local wares.

I thought of how I would be able to have some alone time with Xiao Xi every week from now on, and I began to yell loudly.I laughed while jumping down the stairs. The sounds of my laughter echoed throughout the staircase, which was especially strange.

But my laughter stopped as I was going around the corner of the second floor. Because I saw a familiar cold face, and I knew this cold face meant that he was going to curse “Idiot”. But today, this old lady was very happy, so if I was going to be scolded then that was that. The other person hadn’t been with his parents at a young age and hadn’t felt the love of a mother; great people were very magnanimous, so I wouldn’t bother about it.

I warmly waved to him: “Fang Yuke, hello!”

Fang Yuke glanced at the plastic bag I held: “What are you doing here? How indecent, you’re running towards the male dormitory.”

I already said that I wouldn’t bother with him, so I raised the bag: “Ah ah, do you see this? Xiao Xi gave it to me to eat. Do you want to eat some? I’m not giving you any, haha. I must eat until he has reason to give me snacks every single day.”

Fang Yuke humphed: “Then I will definitely not take it from you. You’ll have to eat this little bag of food for a lifetime.”

This poisonous tongue was worthy of being called a poisonous tongue as it easily aroused my anger: “Why didn’t you tell me about the hometown reunion at Dalian? You told me he went to Dalian, but I don’t believe that you forgot to tell me about the hometown reunion.”

Fang Yuke angrily said, “You asked me what he planned to do, so I said he went to Dalian. It’s not like you asked me who organized it? Why do I have to report to you?”

He spoke very logically. Indeed, I had not asked. But, I was still someone who had managed to get into Peking University, so had he really swung around me? “I mimicked Julie’s attitude and said, “If you listen, you must listen to the crucial points. The crucial point is that this hometown reunion also invited us. It’s okay if you don’t go, but why must you also deprive me of the right to know? This is called deliberate concealment, do you have any ulterior motives? If you confess I’ll be lenient. If not, I’ll be strict!”

Fang Yuke got more furious: “How did I deliberately conceal this? What do you want me to confess? On October 1, I went home alone!”

I remembered that he had returned to see his grandmother on October 1, and I felt that I had crossed the line. The other party was settling his emotional matters, how could he have cared about playing around.

I pushed him, and planned to just forget about it: “I was joking with you. Why are you so serious? My goodness, you really know how to mad at me. How come I didn’t see you getting mad at Ru Ting? You better just be a henpecked male…..”

Fang Yuke calmed his temper: “Don’t drag random things into this mess. Ru Ting isn’t my girlfriend, why do you mention her so often?”

“She isn’t your girlfriend?” I became happy. Our Julie had some hope now. I dragged his hand and locked his eyes on mine and asked: “Look into my eyes and say that Ru Ting is not your girlfriend.”

Fang Yuke’s heart was grossed out by me, but he still looked into my eyes and planned to say it. The moment he opened his mouth, he suddenly avoided my eyes and lowered his head to say: “Why are you so full of random and meaningless questions?”

Oh, I knew it, I knew it. They grew up together. Even if they didn’t have the title of being boyfriend and girlfriend, they had done all the things boyfriends and girlfriends did together.

I sighed and said, “Oh, no matter how early someone met you, it wouldn’t be earlier than her.”

Fang Yuke’s eyes began to have a bit of brightness and warmth: “How would you know whether I met you later than her?”

I sighed again, and continued: “I’ve only known Julie for two months. I don’t need to mention how many years it’s been since I’ve known her, but do you not even recognize her?”

Fang Yuke felt confused, and asked: “Julie?”

I was particularly generous and said, “Someone from our dormitory. She looks like Angelina Jolie, which is where the meaning comes from. She has nice curves, you guys would definitely like her. I have no complaints towards Ru Ting, but I just think that you are neither cold nor warm towards her, and I want to introduce someone more cheerful to you. You are too gloomy. Thus, I can only sacrifice my friend to save you. Sometime, I’ll find an opportunity for you two to meet. I don’t know if Julie, this rascal, would pay more attention to a lover than friends [1], what if she spreads bad stories about you throughout our dorm? That wouldn’t be easy to deal with…

I muttered to myself and was going to speak whatever was written on my heart when Fang Yuke’s face changed from red to green. But just as I had gotten used to his poisonous tongue, he had also gotten used to mine. He threatened me hatefully: “Your head doesn’t think hard enough for yourself, so don’t even think of worrying about other people.”

I ignored him. I planned to go downstairs when Fang Yuke called after me again. I impatiently turned and said, “What is it now?”

Fang Yuke was a little discouraged as he said, “Come with me for a bit. I brought you some things when I went back home.”

This was only my first time going into Fang Yuke’s dormitory. But the moment I stepped inside, I could guess which bed and table belonged to him. As someone who was so OCD, he wouldn’t allow his own things to be like his dorm mates’ things, which were messy and thrown around. I was lucky he wasn’t such a strong OCD that we would forcing other people to be the same. Otherwise, the other people would have suffered. I also understood why he could see which place was mine when he entered my dormitory. He only had to see which place was the dirtiest and messiest to know which place was my nest.

Fang Yuke walked straight to the table underneath the window and grabbed a bag of snacks for me. The moment I saw it, I knew it was little snacks from our hometown, and there was even a vacuumed bag of dried stinky tofu. I hooked up a bag labelled Chang Chong, and I immediately ripped it open and began to eat it. As the saying goes, after receiving benefits, you should give face. While I chewed, I thanked him: “The taste is really not bad. Hehe, Fang Yuke, I really am fated with you. See, both of us have the place by the window. If it wasn’t for the shed that stood between the two buildings, we would be right next to each other. In the future, if we had something up, we could just yell, we wouldn’t even need to text or call.”

The sunlight came in from the outside, and was about to melt his usually cold face. I lifted my head and looked at him: “Fang Yuke, don’t you look great when you laugh? Why must you always put on such an aged face? It’s as if everyone owes you money.”

Fang Yuke dragged his chair out and sat down: “I was just born like this. Plus, most of the time when I want to laugh, I get angered again by you.”

It was really hard for me to speak calmly to Fang Yuke. I began to look at his bookshelf. It was different from Xiao Xi’s professional reading reference books. The books on his bookshelves were mostly computer books followed by his professional course textbooks. Of course, my bookshelf was full of professional books. Keke….. The bottom of the bookshelf still held a bunch of classical music CDs. On the table was a black IBM computer, with the three images on the computer that were constantly changing. Suddenly, I was curious. I wanted to see what the cold faced killer’s laptop had on it. I shook the mouse. It really was very clean. The screensaver faded after the display of the desktop. There were only four elements: Browser shortcuts, my computer, Recycle Bin, and there was a folder called “My Angel”.

Right when I prepared to open the documents, Fang Yuke already closed the notebook. You rascal. Looking at his nervous appearance, what was he hiding? If you wanted to fight with this old lady, this old lady is the Iron King’s Invincible Iron girl, and a beautiful maiden with no foes. I planned to steal his laptop but I didn’t think his poisonous tongue reacted faster than I did. He said nothing about locking the machine and then stuffed his laptop back into my arms and proudly said, “If you know the password then enter it in.”

I was speechless. I looked at this rascal who was one meter and eight cm, but was still playing such a childish game. Of course, if you want to be childish, I can be more childish than you. I took the laptop, and planned to enter the password. What was this rascal’s birthday? I thought for a moment, and thought of that “obituary”. Usually, I had a bad memory while studying, but whenever it was gossip, I never forgot it. I began to enter “19840718”, error, then I entered “0718” error “18071984”, I took all the different groups and I almost finished trying all of them, but it was still incorrect. I was a little discouraged and bitterly threw the laptop back at him.

Fang Yuke laughed contentedly: “You bothered to remember my birthday. Who do you usually gossip with? It’s just that you’ve remembered the wrong person’s birthday. The computer’s password is not my birthday.” I had a moment of impulse when I thought about calling Ru Ting to ask when her birthday was. Of course, I knew if I called her now, the cost of this impulse would be that I would spend an entire year in regret. Ten years is not too late for a nobleman to take his revenge [2]. I laughed coldly: “Hmph, then you better change your password early, otherwise I’ll definitely go inquire when Ru Ting’s birthday is.”

Fang Yuke closed the laptop and began to change into the cold faced killer: “Go and ask. If you have the guts, then ask right now.”

Was he goading me? This old lady wasn’t that easy to provoke. I laughed and said, “Oh it’s nothing, it’s nothing. In the Angel folder, if it isn’t a beautiful maiden’s picture, then it must be a beautiful maiden’s video. It’s really difficult for Cancers [4] to do things in a Sagittarius [5] style. If we lay everything down on the table, doesn’t this mean that Cancers manage these kinds of folders using an extremely long path [3]? For example: C:\WINDOWS\system32\Microsoft\Protect\see\User\TheYearsofOurPassionIgnited

Fang Yuke said, “Dirty people have their own dirty methods. There’s nothing I can do if you want to slander my angel. One day you will regret what you’ve said.”

I laughed and said, “I am so scared. But, Fang Yuke, the only time I watched porn was still when I watched it with someone else. If I was a male, I would be your sworn brother. Unfortunately, I am a woman and if I treated you like my brother, I would make someone jealous.”

Fang Yuke played with his phone: “Continue your wishful thinking. Who is willing to become brothers with you?”

I looked at his phone, and suddenly thought of something: “Fang Yuke, I don’t care if you don’t want to treat me like your brother. But can I ask you to change my name in your phone. I’ll put up with it if you call me an Idiot, anyway, you are just this virtuous that I can no longer resist. However, I do not need to be called idiot behind my back right? Am I that idiotic?”

Fang Yuke was a little surprised and asked me: “How did you know your name was idiot in my phone?”

I laughed: “The secret cannot be divulged. In the future, will I still be able to find who the person “Angel” is?”

Fang Yuke wore an indescribable smile: “Until you crack the case, I’ll put your name in my phone as Angel, while the name on my computer will be changed to My Idiot, okay?”

I nodded: “Agreed!”


[1] ????- Literally means pay more attention to a lover than friends. It figuratively refers to valuing sex over friendship.
[2] ????????-lit. for a nobleman to take revenge, ten years is not too long (idiom) / fig. revenge is a dish best served cold
[3] The path is computer terminology for the file folder and its location which is what you see in the last sentence of Lin Lin’s speech: C:\WINDOWS\system32\Microsoft\Protect\see\User\TheYearsofOurPassionIgnited. Basically, Lin Lin is cursing his constellation sign (Cancer) and his personality by remarking on how he tries so hard to hide the destination of the file which makes it more obvious that it’s porn.
[4]+[5]: Cancer and Sagittarius are both constellation signs. Often, constellation signs are used to determine your personality.


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