CCG Chapter 46

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Cultivation Chat Group

Chapter 46: Student Shuhang, have you offended someone recently?


Back at the dormitory, Song Shuhang opened the door and softly said, “I’m back.”


Nobody responded to him.


Nobody’s here?


He lowered his head and looked towards the shoe rack, the application for leave he placed there was already gone, his roommates had passed it to the teacher for him.


“Hasn’t class ended? I remember there are four classes in the afternoon, but Teacher Renshui hadn’t been discharged from the hospital since breaking his leg, so there should only be two classes this afternoon.” Song Shuhang inwardly thought.


Could it be that these fellas went to the place Yangde rented off-campus again?


That would be good as well, without them here, it would be more convenient to receive the “flying sword book transfer’, and he wouldn’t need to worry about his roommates noticing anything strange.


As he thought of that, he took off his shoes and was about to enter the dormitory.


At this time, he heard people conversing in the dormitory’s bedroom.


“Gao Moumou, I beg you, among the people I know you’re the only one who has experience with girlfriends!” A voice that didn’t lean towards either gender but was very crisp sounded.


“So? What are you trying to tell me? Keep your distance, you have a very disgusting expression right now! Cut straight to the point, I still have to go out for some matters.” Gao Moumou replied.


In front of him was a fellow student who wore the uniform of Jiang Nan University, multiracial, blonde!


From the first glance, he (she) looks like a dashing lady, but when closely examined, Shuhang felt that he (she) looked more like a pretty nisemusume?

[TL: Nisemusume is a Japanese term for an androgynous male who crossdresses like a female in anime/games/manga, with strong moe elements that can even be better than female characters within the series.]


This was a person whose gender could not be judged just by looking at appearance.


Right now, this student of unknown gender wore a face full of desire and dissatisfaction. This student closed in on Gao Moumou while speaking.


Gao Moumou stretched his hand out to keep his distance from this student; if it wasn’t because this fella was his childhood friend, he would’ve kicked him a long time ago.


“It’s like this, I went on a date with Xiao Mei today.” This student of unknown gender happily said.


Xiao Mei, this seemed like a lady’s name? Does this mean this student is a ‘he’?


Gao Moumou calmly said, “Oh, isn’t that great?”


“Then I held hands with her, I’m very happy.” The student happily rolled about Gao Moumou’s bed, seeming very excited.


Gao Moumou: “Alright, I can understand your excitement. However, I’m really in a rush, can you cut straight to the point?”


“Gao Moumou you really don’t understand romanticism, so rigid! Which is why despite us being childhood sweethearts, you hadn’t managed to pick me up all this time. Our families’ seniors obviously bore the thoughts of bringing us together when we were young.” The student ridiculed.


“Zhuge Yue, please cut to the point.” Gao Moumou massaged his temple with force.


“Alright…… actually, because it was my first time going on a date with a girl, I was very nervous. This made my body stiff, so when I held hands with Xiao Mei, I used too much strength and she looked like she was in pain, what a huge failure!” Zhuge Yue became depressed.


Gao Moumou didn’t know how to reply.


“Tomorrow, I’ve already planned a date with Xiao Mei. This time, I’m prepared to achieve a kiss her! But I’ve never kissed before, I’m very afraid that when the time comes I might end up hurting her because I hit her teeth with too much force.” Zhuge Yue spoke till this point, and his (her) eyes shined as he (she) stared at Gao Moumou.


Gao Moumou didn’t know why, but his heart slowed down by half a beat, he had a bad premonition as he said, “So you came here to ask me for advice about how to kiss?”


“Ah, from a certain angle this is the case. After all, among my close friends, you’re the only one who has a girlfriend, You must have kissed numerous times.”


Gao Moumou nodded, he had no way of denying this.


“So let me kiss you, teach me how to kiss, so I have a better experience!” Zhuge Yue formed a fist as he (she) said.


“Waai…. Wait, did I mishear something?” Gao Moumou shivered all over, he looked at this thick-skinned childhood sweetheart.


“Please let me kiss you, the wet french kiss way.” Zhuge Yue answered.


“I reject. My apologies, I don’t do gay things. Furthermore, I already have a girlfriend, please go find something else to practice with, pillows, or a pillar, it’s all up to you!” Gao Moumou staunchly rejected.


“That won’t do, I’ve already tried things like pillows and inflated dolls, but I don’t feel a thing. I want to have a real person with moist lips for me to practice! Especially the tangling of tongues, I beg you, Gao Moumou, you’re the only one amongst my friends who could help me with this!” Zhuge Yue sincerely pleaded.


“Then let me direct you to the path of survival. Two streets away from the school, there are ladies with top-class kissing skills, I can assure you that you’ll learn a skill from them that will satisfy your girlfriend.” Gao Moumou pointed out a path of survival.


“Impossible, I will not cheat on Xiao Mei! Also, I have mysophobia.” Zhuge Yue rejected and said, “Therefore, please help me, Gao Moumou. Be rest assured, we’re so familiar with each other, there won’t be a problem. In addition, I even prepared cling film, if you’re really shy we could first have a cling film between us as we practice!”


“Even if there’s a cling film I still can’t help you! Your brain has gone off the deep end, my brain is still normal. You cannot cheat on your girlfriend, does that mean I will allow my girlfriend to be hurt? That’s a definite no, give up on this idea! Hey, wait, what are you doing? Wuu!”


Then there was the sound of Gao Moumou fiercely struggling, there was also the sound of things falling.


When Song Shuhang heard these, his calves twitched. What the fuck, Gao Moumou’s chastity isn’t going to be lost would it?


As a good roommate, should he go in to help him now? Or should he wait outside for the assault on Gao Moumou to end, then go in to console him?


After some thought, he felt that he should take the middle road, and wait for two minutes before going in.


When all’s said and done, what if Gao Moumou was just being proud? What if he says that he doesn’t want it, yet his body reacts very honestly? Wouldn’t that mean that I’d be spoiling his happiness?”


One minute later.


Song Shuhang’s train of thought was still tangled as to whether or not he should enter the room when the room’s door was opened.


The short-haired blonde Zhuge Yue wore a face of satisfaction, and opened the door with a flushed face.


Song Shuhang’s eyesight was now fantastic, with a glance he could clearly see the deathly still and spiritless eyes of Gao Moumou, it was like he was toyed to the point that he broke.


When Zhuge Yue opened the door, he (she) suddenly noticed Song Shuhang who stood outside the room with a conflicted expression. He (she) was immediately stunned, the pleased smile on his (her) face quickly faded away, redness from being shy crept up his (her) face. He (she) still knows to be embarrassed?


“Haha, you guys are done? It’s really good to be young and affectionate.” Song Shuhang mimicked Medicine Master’s loud laughter, trying to gently slide away from that topic to avoid awkwardness.


Zhuge Yue’s eyes blinked, and revealed a natural and relaxed smile, he (she) stretched a hand towards Song Shuhang for a handshake, “Hi, I’m Zhuge Yue, Gao Moumou’s childhood sweetheart.”


“Hello, I’m Gao Moumou’s roommate, Song Shuhang.” Shuhang stretched out his hand and lightly shook hands with Zhuge Yue. It was a thin and slender hand, and the palm was very small, there was a higher chance that this was one belonging to a girl.


But when he saw Gao Moumou who looked like a broken toy lying in the bedroom he thought. If he was forced to kiss with a girl he shouldn’t be so broken should he? Therefore Song Shuhang immediately felt in his heart, there was a higher probability that Zhuge Yue was actually a man.


“Very nice to meet you. This guy Gao Moumou is rather prideful, with a very awkward character, I hope you all would take good care of him in the future.” Zhuge Yue smiled and said, with the bearing like an unmarried girl of a good family.


If one just looked at her current appearance, who would imagine that one minute ago she was forcefully kissing Gao Moumou, completely breaking him in the process?


“You’re too polite, I’ve actually been looked after by them more.” Song Shuhang replied with a smile.


“Come to think of it, I seem to have heard the name of student Song Shuhang somewhere before?” Zhuge Yue blinked several times while attempting to recall.


Song Shuhang: “That’s unlikely, this is my first time meeting you, student Zhuge Yue.”


“No, my ability to remember is never wrong. I should have heard your name somewhere.” Zhuge Yue creased her brows as she strenuously tried to recall.


After a moment, Zhuge Yue made a clap and said, “I remember now! Student Song Shuhang, have you offended someone recently?”


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  • Void

    This sort of comedy scenes can only work when the audience is convinced, that the “victim” will not actually lose out on anything. Even if Moumou is currently fish-eyed and dead inside, we can only take it as a joke because “surely he’ll get up and forget all about it, no actual damage is done!”

    But when we look at the comments section, it sure does seem like not everyone accepted that idea. It’s good to know that we’re moving ahead, and possibly moving beyond such cheap rape-esque jokes. Maybe in a few years, we’ll also be able to get rid of anime’s favorite joke: “Hit the male and beat him up severely in order to show affection”, because it’s super funny when a person severely beats up another for being shy or jealous, right? Topics like domestic abuse are super funny, right? Meh.

  • Sage Verdurous Sea Turtle

    thanks for the chapter!

  • library rocker

    Part of a family of assassins? XD

    Thanks so much for all your hard work!!

  • BlueAlice

    This chapter = NOPE

    No idea what the fuck the author was thinking when writing this but nope.

  • Kensei Seraph – Terran Ghost

    Thanks for the chapters.

  • BTSfangirl

    ._. No means No! >_> But it’s easier to get your message across with a better shut down then No when it comes to pushy people. Like… “Listen to me. We may be friends but their are lines you can’t cross. If you insist on kissing me, I’m going to think you’re gay and secretly harbor feelings for me. Being gay won’t effect our friendship but feelings will because I wont be able to respond to them. My girlfriend is the most important person to me. So don’t do this because even if you try to pass it off as a joke, I won’t view it that way.” -End of nonexistent unimportant monologue-

    • Sim

      You make it sound like childhood best friends are reasonable people. The right of a childhood friend is to disregard whatever you say and act as they please knowing that things will be alright in a few days max.

      • BlueAlice

        More like the right to get punched in the face if they try to pull something like that.

      • BTSfangirl

        Exactly <_< Moral of the story is- "Bro's before H- Wonderful ladies. So man up and pucker up cause it's partly your fault he's so comfortable with you to request a Bro-Kiss" -Cherishing friends can be complicated-

  • tsunderehater

    Ore monogatari even here lol

    • BTSfangirl

      I love the live version of this scene 😀 The actors for Takeo and Sunakawa are hilarious.

  • agila0212

    Thank you for the chapter ^^

  • kirindas

    Thanks for the new chapter!

  • Mesmerised

    Thanks for the chapter!

  • Poulos maximus the great

    Welp, there were too many peaceful chapters and shits about to get real. Worry not though *does really awesome thumbs up plus really sexy smile* i’ll be here with you flipping tables all the way *light glinting of shiny teeth sound*
    -Lithit 2016

  • Neruz

    Oh god what did Great Master Tong Xuan do to his roommates.