Note: This post is based on my experiences, as well as many others. It is not to say all Asian parents are like this.
Asian parents believe it is totally acceptable to beat their children. They believe that punishment will deter an undesirable behaviour from happening again. Perhaps the child will be too afraid to get hit, so he/she will be too frightened to misbehave.
Once, my friends and I were randomly discussing over getting beaten as a child, and we went through a circle telling each other what we were hit with. Surprisingly, all of our parents used different things! The list consisted of: hand, a stick, a feather duster, a broom, newspaper, a ruler, a coat hanger, a rope, a hockey stick, and even a baseball bat. When we heard “baseball bat”, all of us were slightly amused and surprised at the same time. We all went, “Woaahhhh.” After all, baseball bats are so heavy/hard! That’s brutal!! But we had a great laugh. We all turned out fine, I think.
The Western society might find this shocking and unacceptable, but it is very common if you grew up with traditional Asian parents.
Being the best/Aiming for #1
Asian parents have very high expectations for their children. They want their children to be the best at everything they do. The goal is to be #1, and always aim for #1. As a result, many Asian parents make their children go through tutoring and take a variety of different classes/lessons outside of school. To them, being average is not enough. They are willing to invest a lot of money in order for their children to stand out amongst everyone else.
Asian parents believe the earlier the better. Therefore, before I even started Kindergarten, I already knew how to count from 1-100, and all my ABCs. By the time I was in Gr 1, I’ve already memorized the whole multiplications table. I would recite it every night. While my classmates might be learning 1+1, I’ve already learnt up to 9×9.
It might sound crazy, but it is very common (especially in Asia).
Asian parents also believe the more time you spend on something, the better you will be. If everyone else studies for 6 hours a day, but you spend 8, it’s almost guaranteed you will eventually be smarter/better than all of them. Thus, after school studying programs are flourishing in Asia.
You can’t blame them though. There are a lot of people in Asia, and spots to a good school are limited. It’s literally “survival of the fittest”.
Although having a post secondary education does not guarantee a good job, to Asian parents, it is mandatory. They believe that success without education is almost impossible. To them, having a post-secondary education is like going through the door of opportunities. Therefore, most Asian parents would force their children into going to University/College (regardless if it’s suitable for them or not).
For the most part, they do not support the Arts (music, drawing, singing, dancing, writing, etc) as it is a field that very few are able to attain a stable income. So, to Asian parents, the Arts are considered “useless”.
The parents want their children to have a stable job that pays a lot and is respectable (Ex. Accountant, lawyers, doctors).
Most Asian parents do not want their children to get into relationships while they are in school, in fears that it will affect their performances. However, once their children have graduated, they will demand and question them if they are not in a relationship.
Asian parents usually do not care how deep or how much their children love their significant others. One of their first questions will be, “What does he/she do?” Not, “How much do you love each other?” To them, if the guy is unable to provide financially, it’s almost a definite no. Money talks. Love is not enough.
Most Asian parents stay together more so because of commitment as opposed to love. This may be because some of them went through arranged marriages.
Depending on where they’re from, dating wasn’t very common back then. When a woman is of a certain age, their parents/families will try to find her a suitable suitor. Homosexual relationships were frowned upon and considered a disgrace (sadly, for some, it’s still like this today).
Asians are known for working extremely hard. This is very true. They believe in efficiency and do not care very much for how they reach their results. Therefore, they do not have much sympathy for the workers’ well-being. If one were to complain about working in an unsafe environment or overtime or not getting paid enough, the boss would just fire the worker since there are so many that would gladly replace him/her.
As a result, Asian parents love it when their children have a government job. To them, it’s a job that doesn’t require working hard AND there is stability. In addition, there are benefits and the hours are usually from 9-5. And even if one were to work overtime, they would get pay 1.5 (In Canada). It’s a dream come true (for Asian parents).
Asians can take a lot though. They are used to going through turmoil. They are willing to work harder than everyone else, if it means that they can provide a better future for their children.
This post is TOO LONG. I can keep going and going but I’m going to end it here. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading it! Again, this post is GENERALIZING and it may not be true for all Asian families. What are your thoughts?! Anything that surprised you?